Back After A Long Time!

[Hopeangel]

Hello Everyone,

I have not been here since early in the year because i thought I may have upset someone by accident and that was the LAST thing I wanted to do as i have so much love and respect for you guys, so I went off here.

If anyone remembers, I came here out of desperation as my daughter suffers BPD and I wanted answers as to how to help her to cope and for myself to learn more from people who know best what it is like and what is most needed! You helped me enormously and I am in awe of the genuine caring nature of this community!

I am in need again now as my daughter is suffering horribly from psychosis, hearing voices for the first time and is in hospital for a long-term assessment period. The voices say horrific things as many of you can identify with but I am desperate to know how I can help to soothe her and advise her how to cope when they are scaring her!!

That is why i am here but also to apologise for leaving suddenly I just felt i had hurt someone's feelings when that's the last thing they needed!

Does anyone have advice for me or her?

[jenny1471]

Hi

Welcome back to the forum. I am really sorry to hear that your daughter is unwell and currently in hospital. I've never had a psychotic episode or heard voices etc so am afraid I don't have anything constructive to offer, other than to welcome you. I hope that the hospital is able to help your daughter - would it be worth asking the doctors there for any advice on what you could do, or websites/resources you could look in to for yourself?

Take care

Jenny x

[Hopeangel]

Thank you so much for your kind words Jenny, it means so much to me!

I am finding the voices very scary because it is a brand new development and they say such frightening things to her! I just wish I could give her some peace of mind!

I will find out what I can! x

[Threemoons]

Hi Hopeangel, welcome back to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering at the moment. She is in security at the hospital so I hope they can help her effectively. In my experience voices can be crazily scary, particularly on the first episode. I too think that asking advises to her doctors would be a good move. Other than that, what has helped me is hearing my relatives say that they hear nothing, that the voices are heard only by me so I can locate them in my head despite hearing them like with my ears. It's a bit less scary when I know it's my brain messing around. Also you could tell her that they don't have the power to make what they say come true. None of what they threaten to do will happen. Try to be persuaded that the medication will help and let your daughter know this belief of you. Are you able to visit her often? I felt very stressed by being surrounded by strangers when I was hospitalized, needed my family so much and was just holding on the days where the visits were authorized. It was heart-breaking for us to say goodbye at the end of the visit but I would have felt so distressed without it. Hope that some of this can help. I wish the best of recovery to your daughter, may she feel better very soon.

[Hopeangel]

Thank you, thank you threemoons, that is exactly the advice and hope I was looking for! xx

I am so glad the voices become easier to master with time, I took her out for a few hours yesterday and she began screaming really crude obscenities at me in the car, I was so frightened and just thought i would try something I shouted with as much authority as I could muster 'How DARE you speak to me like that! I am on your side here I am not the voices!!' she went quiet then said 'that is how the voices treat me and much worse threats than that!' she told me of the threats, which I won't repeat but I just said 'oh i am so sorry for you, I will not allow them to disrespect you like this you do not deserve this treatment and they are not allowed to speak like that to you!' she was very loving again after that!

I hope that was right to do? I am out of my depth but I will learn and learn until I can help with this, that is how we learned to connect with the BPD I learned how to speak to her so she could hear me, and now we must learn how to speak to the voices is that right? I have told her to tell them she will respect who they are and listen to them only if they show respect to her too and not be crude and violent to her- is that good advice?

My son took her out today and said although she muttered a bit at times, there was no real bad episodes today! I spoke to her and she seemed more cheerful!

I will tell her that I know the medication will work and also that I am going to help her! Thank you so much Threemoons, you are an absolute star, your wishes mean the world and I am so sorry you go through these things too. I also wish you a permanent recovery as soon as is possible! xx

[Threemoons]

I'm glad she had a better day yesterday. I guess you can try dialogue with the voices since it's probably what she does herself but please be clear that you don't hear them. Violent ones are a problem for me too, They are less frequent with the treatment though. I find that internal voices are often less violent and are felt less aggressive than external ones. I had a threatening external who has become an internal ally, not sure what happened but it can.. You seem to have found a way to calm your daughter through the car episode and that's good to hear. No way is better than another, it really depends on the person and you're the one who know her best so I guess just listen to your instincts. Voices can disrupt sleep and the treatment is a bit tiring at first I find so it can contribute to her losing her temper. You seem a loving family, I'm so happy that she has you on her side.