Lashing Out

[Ratherin]

Been having a bad few days, been horrible to people I care about from me lashing out :/ I dunno how to control it....

It's like my mind thinks it's other peoples duty to make me happy :/ and when they don't it's their fault, when infact it's my fault.. I can see that after, but at the time I can't think clearly, and I have upset some people and it makes me feel so shitty :/

anyone else struggle with this? any idea how to handle it? I know I'm meant to step back from the situation and think about it, but it's so god damn hard

[hoping]

Your right it is hard ,I guess we lash out at those we are closest to and though we know its not there fault ,I guess we are looking for someone to make it all okay.I guess all we can do when we feel in a better place is to try and explain how we feel and that we don't mean to take things out on them.much support and understanding from me.

[artemis84]

I have problems with lashing out at people (particularly people I am close to) and intense bursts of anger that I can't control. It is infuriating because anger isn't really the emotion I want to express most of the time and all it does is push people away when I feel I need them most (frustrating as if I was crying instead people would want to comfort me).

If you can, maybe explaining in advance to people that when you lash out you don't mean it would help them understand. This isn't always possible though!

I am working on stepping back and noticing my anger at the time myself so don't know the answer to how to do that yet. Rest assured you are not alone in experiencing this though

[Lily-Bee]

That sounds like a hard thing to deal with.

I wonder if reading up on anger management might help you? I know its not an anger issue as such but there might be tips on how to keep yourself from blowing up.

[Ratherin]

I do explain to people what i'm like, but I don't think you can ever really prepare someone for when you might flip out for what it seems to them as no reason :/ it's been happening for years, lost so many people.

I don't think anger management will help because I just get hurt easily or in irritable moods,

I don't want to be me :/

thank you for your replys, hope you are all ok

[Data]

Are you empathetic as a person? I used to lash out and quite a lot of the time I didn't realise I was doing it. When I did realise, I struggled to control it.

What helped me is thinking of what it must be like from the other person's point of view. You might think they caused it, but what reason did they have for saying or doing what they did? How would you feel if people lashed out at you in the same way as you do? What alternatives do you have to lashing out? I often find it best to avoid people when I am angry, not always the healthiest strategy I know, but works for me. I listen to music.

[Ratherin]

I am yes,

I know I try and avoid people but often they get upset and feel they are being ignored, it feels like a lose lose situation

I guess the only alternative is to leave

[Threemoons]

I'm sorry you have such a hard time with lashing out, Ratherin. It sure sounds like a lose lose situation but I think them feeling ingored is better than them feeling attaked. Find that all the advises you were given above are really great. You could also try to count until 200 before doing any move. Hope that you feel a bit better now. It's awfully guilty to hurt those who we love.