Frankie57 Posted December 2, 2014 Report Share Posted December 2, 2014 Hi, My name is Frankie and I used to be married to someone with BPD. I am looking for support to try to put a very difficult time in my life behind me so I would like to get into contact with other spouses or partners of people suffering from BPD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted December 2, 2014 Report Share Posted December 2, 2014 Hi Frankie, I think there are a couple of members here who have had some experience of having a partner who suffers with BPD so hopefully they can help guide you. The majority of the forums users are those which are suffering from various mental health issues themselves so they could help support you in understanding and coming to terms with your feelings surrounding your relationship with your ex- as well as shedding light on how someone with BPD experiences the world, some people find this helpful in their path to recovery. Hope that you find the help that you need, it sounds like you are struggling and have had a difficult time so remember to take care of yourself as you find your feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glasseye Posted December 3, 2014 Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 good luck framk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie57 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 Thanks Kitsune, I very much appreciated your answer. Yes, I am going through an awfully difficult time, especially because I found myself all alone in the UK. I suppose you are right when you say that also other sufferers of BPD could help me. I will see who answers. Contact with other partners or spouses would really help me. The other day I was researching books on the subject and I came across one review from a wife. It seemed like I was reading my story. It does give some closure to know that we are not crazy, that it is not our fault we didn't know how to deal with all the problems and that we are not alone, this happens to other people too. Too bad that there aren't any groups when can join in real life because you are right, I have to take care of myself but... that is awfully hard at this point in time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted December 3, 2014 Report Share Posted December 3, 2014 Perhaps you could see if there are local support groups for people who have gone through breakups and divorces and that could tide you over as you search for a more specialised support group. perhaps it may be an idea to set up your own if you got to the point you felt you could. meetup . com is good for that kind of thing. hope that you find the help you need soon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunar Fox Posted December 4, 2014 Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi Frankie Have you tried www.bpdfamily.com ? Should be full of useful help and support Thanks LF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 4, 2014 Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi and welcome. I have bpd my self but its control with meds. its a difficult disorder to have let alone try to understand it from an outsiders point of view i cant begin to understand what its like from your point of view Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie57 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi Maddy Harper, I am very sorry to hear that you also have this problem and you are absolutely right, it is probably very difficult for na outsider to understand what you are going through. I still want to try to understand although my marriage is truly over. I have been reading a book Loving Someone with BPD and although I don't really like it I have seen what I have done right and what I have done wrong. I wish I could have done more to support my husband.... I feel very sad and I am now on anti-depressants (he has never taken any medication). All the best to you and I congratulate you for your courage to try to find answers because that is the most importante! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted December 4, 2014 Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi Welcome to the forum. I too wonder if there are any support groups in the area? Maybe not specifically for BPD but support group for carers. I know where i live there are support groups for carers where you can meet others etc. I hope coming here helps too, and you're right in that maybe reading up could help too. I think there is a book along the lines of 'stop walking on eggshells' which may be a good one, I don't know. Take care Jenny x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie57 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi Lunar Fox, yes, I have tried that site, which was suggested to me by a lady in the Women's Trust, but it all appears online and I think that in order to speak freely I would prefer to meet in person. Also without asking my permission they posted the e-mail I sent them and that I wasn't happy about. I am sure that the site works for other people..... There aren't any groups where I live so now I hope to maybe manage to stay in contact with people who went through the same.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie57 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi Kitsune... I wouldn't know how to set up my own group although at this moment I even have a space I could use for meetings but I will have to move in a few months. Also I think that such groups should be monitored by a professional otherwise people can do more harm than good. I live in Cardiff and I contacted the Mental Health Service but they didn't tell me directly whether any groups existed, made my GP write them a letter, talked to her on the phone, then sent me some flyers and that was all. They wanted to assess me in order to tell me whether any groups existed? I was very disappointed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie57 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi Jen, Thanks for your reply. I have heard of that book Walking on Eggshells and funny enouth it is how I always described my situation. Right now I am Reading Loving Someone with BPD but it is not really a good read as it has a lot of repetitions but good enough for me to find out what I did wrong and what I did right. There don't seem to be any support groups here in Cardiff. That would really help me big time. My GP says that my marriage is finished and I need to put this all behind me but in order to do that I feel that I need to understand what happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 Hi Frankie, welcome to the forums. I hope that you can find the information you're searching for.Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 Hi Frankie, i found this link, it's a support group for people who have had a divorce and need support, the groups are run by trained psychotherapists so they will be monitored by a professional. They do cost money though but may be useful. http://www.divorcesupportgroup.co.uk/therapists/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie57 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Thanks Kistune, I have contacted them. Too bad there don't seem to be any support groups for family members of BPD patients. hearing from each other how it is to live in such a situation and how to come to terms with it would be very helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted December 13, 2014 Report Share Posted December 13, 2014 Hope that you manage to find one soon hun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted December 16, 2014 Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 Mmmm I struggle with this post, why would there be a support group specifically for ex partners of people with Bpd, what are we aliens? I'm sure you suffered and yeah it can be hell living with a Bpd but a relationship takes two, I've been in a relationship for 17yrs and I have Bpd, our reactions are triggered a lot by how we are treated and I'm sorry if I sound harsh but i have read so much crap lately on fb and other places about Bpd which just isn't true and only increases stigma, maybe a support group in general might help for people going through what you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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