Eagleheart Posted December 4, 2014 Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Can't ssleep coz of the pain. Strung out & exhausted. Taken co-codamol(more than i should),ibuprofen,& big dose of vallies. Pain fills every area of me. I'm ginna beat the leg again. The pain is making me crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted December 4, 2014 Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 Hi Sorry I haven't been able to reply to you sooner.. and sorry that you are in so much pain. It sounds awful and I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. How are you doing now? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Oh, Eagle. It breaks my heart that you're in so much pain. I hope the painkillers are doing their job. If not please see your GP as you may have caused dammage inside. I send you love, dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted December 6, 2014 Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 ((((Eagleheart)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted December 6, 2014 Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 Eagle...please be careful, you could quite easily overdose by the sounds of things Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted December 6, 2014 Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 Hi How are you doing today Eagleheart? I hope you are 'ok' xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted December 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 I don't deserve any of your kindness & concern. I DO deserve to be suffering every last piece of pain i am going through. It is only right that the pain is keeping me awake at night. I deserve all of it. You are lovely people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 No you don't deserve any, you're to kind to deserve suffering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted December 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Managed to cut back on beating my leg. Kind of fell off the wagon & beat it a fair bit this morning. I was having a look round tesco this afternoon & absent-mindedly crouched down to look at something. Oh my god-i felt something tearing in my upper leg & over the course of this evening the pain's got worse & worse. I've got to let the leg heal but am addicted to beating myself. Maybe i should start beating the other leg....yep,thats it. It's a good solution i think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 9, 2014 Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Eagle, I'm so sorry you hurt like this. My soul leaps for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted December 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 I know this is getting tedious so i apologise. Took a mad moment,literally 10 seconds,and viciously battered my leg. Regretted it imediately but what could i do? I can't un-beat myself. Very bad swelling,very hard & hot. So,i owned up to hubby & he went ape-shit. Really told me off,said i was an asshole. Now,i feel a whole bunch of shitty feelings & all i want to do is SH again. Think i should end it all. I hate my life these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted December 10, 2014 Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 Though it hurts a lot I imagine the pain being a distracktion from your mental pains, is that why you do it? Lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted December 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 Yes,Lily-bee. It is the only thing that works as a distraction. But i know i really disappoint my man & that makes me feel so guilty. It's mad because i can be having quite a good day,then suddenly,i plunge into hell & i SH & then i feel better again. The steep dip in mood comes out of the blue & my reaction is automatic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted December 11, 2014 Report Share Posted December 11, 2014 Eagle..you need to use some self control...you could end up in a wheel chair Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted December 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2014 I know,Steve. But it is an addiction. A strong addiction. And in my twisted mind,i believe i am being a good girl when i do it. If i go a day without SHing,i have failed massively. How do i undo a lifetime of negative conditioning?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 11, 2014 Report Share Posted December 11, 2014 Well, it's not easy but you could try to challenge your thoughts. What about your husband's feelings? Does he see it as being a good girl? I hope that looking at how others see it can help you. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted December 11, 2014 Report Share Posted December 11, 2014 Eagle..you need to talk to your husband...get some support in place. You will end up In a very bad position if you don't take action for yourself Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basimelhabashy Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 I can't think how much you are suffering. Hope you get well soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edwardcejka Posted February 23, 2015 Report Share Posted February 23, 2015 Hello Eagleheart, I am very sorry for your pain. Are you still suffering from this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.