I Keep Searching For An Answer

[daintydandellio]

Hi I am new to this forum and I would like to ask for some advice if that's okay about something that's happened a few days ago.

I suffer from anxiety and depression and I have a very stressful job mentally and physically. Two months ago i had a huge meltdown and It resulted in a huge bust up with my boss who doesn't understand mental illness and she was putting me under pressure to do something I wasn't happy doing. I have been off work since and have been prescribed antidepressants. I have a friend who has mental health issues herself and she suffers from borderline personality disorder. I had been making good progress and my mood was beginning to lift and I started doing things again like walking the dog etc. I haven't known my friend for long mabys 3 months and when I met her I felt so happy to have a friend that I could relate to and it was if we had known each other all our lives. The fact that she was struggling daily with her issues didn't bother me because i don't judge anybody because everyone has a story to tell about their life. I have been very supportive and have helped her with a lot of things, sometimes putting her needs before my own because that's the type of person I am. However, a few days ago we had a disagreement, which wasn't major it could be put right and she won't even talk to me on the phone. She wouldn't reply to my texts, i offered to go round and talk and she ignored that. Finally i received a text saying " I can't handle this, I knew this friendship was too good to be true. All the best I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have done for me. I will never forget your kindness. It's best for my mental health I be a loner. Since that day it has been going round and round in my head trying to put things right. I've thought of going to her house but I know she will ignore the door. My mental state of mind has plummeted and I am sinking into depression again. I am so mentally tired and exhausted I can't think anymore. I can't work out 'i've done wrong and I can't accept what's happened. I really care about her and valued our friendship. My husband and daughter said I have to let it go for my own health but I find it really hard to move on. I broke down yesterday and I don't think i've cried so much for years, crying is a thing I never do. Could anyone out there give me some advice as to how they would deal with this or advice about the best solution, I would be grateful of some advice. Thanks.

I'm sorry that i've wrote nearly a book but I just needed to write this down to get it off my chest.

[complex-lemon]

I am really sorry to hear this daintyd.

I can understand totally the need to have someone in your life who totally gets your mental health struggles. It makes us feel less alone in what we go through.

And mutual support is very important at times to our own positivity etc.

I have had mental health issues since my mid twenties but didn't know anyone the same until my mid thirties, who had similar troubles, but there is comfort in finding these people most definitely.

It sounds at the moment like your friends' mental health has had a big big nosedive.

This is absolutely nothing at all to do with you in anyways. She is probably isolating herself because she is so down, she cannot see that meeting a friend would help her in anyways, hence her comments.

Hopefully for her sake, she will soon be on the road to recovery and am sure when she gets a little better she will be back in your life again.

have had one or two friends over the years like this. And when they struggle don't even chat on the phone, but they have come back when they a little better.

It sounds like you have a busy life ie challenging job and a family to run too.

Have you ever thought of attending a support group. It is not anything against your family to support you, but just a little extra help to keep you going whilst your friend is unwell or even some sort of therapy maybe could be an additional support also.

[jimindigo]

Hell,aren't you a lovely human being?

I doubt it is anything to do with you,but some twist of her thinking

that you can't control,but please don't hurt dear self,on contrary,

have compassion for self. But if it persists try this lovely book:

"Self-Compassion", by Kristin Neff.

Christmas Blessings,

jimindigo