brassed2bits Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 I used to post here a lot. Then I got so, so ill and then diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 and medicated to the hilt and my BPD diagnosis got a bit lost so I felt a bit of a fraud for posting on here. Life's been OK. Infact, I spent so many years wishing I was dead, now I don't feel like that any more it feels very, very, very odd and I feel very very guilty for wishing my life over for so long. Nowadays I feel paranoid that my wish will catch up with me and just when I want to live, I will die. That thought is messing with my head. I don't have a therapist any more. Sometimes I really wish I still did. Chance to say all those awful things out loud that you can't say to family. Guess that's why I've found my way back here. I feel sad. I really feel like a child, insecure and vulnerable and little even though I'm grown up with a family of my own. Anyway, hello. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Hi, I don't know you from before but nice to meet you! I'm sorry to hear you're feeling sad and insecure at the moment. I understand what it is like to feel like a child as a grown up, it is tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 i to understand what its like to feel like a child inside a adult body. I have a childs voice inside my head. She is called sarah and shes ten. Shes been that age ever since i heard her and all my other ones are grown up and nasty. i furst started hearing voices in 2005 and still hear them now but not as much as i am on meds to control what they say to me and to stop me acting out what they tell me to do. but its still hard ignoring them sometimes. especially when i am on my own. I still have no sharps n my house from the last relapse i had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Hi, welcome back though I only just meet you. I'm sorry the reason why you've come back is that you're sad and feeling like a lost child. I hope that you can find back old forum friends and make new ones. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brassed2bits Posted December 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 Thank you for your nice replies. I did wonder if it was OK for me to post here now as my BPD diagnosis seems to have got lost with a new Bipolar diagnosis. I'm not sure if I qualify for BPD, although many of the original traits are still definitely here no matter what label they hang on me. So I'm not sure if my miserableness is down to a Bipolar mood or the swings of BPD. All I know is that I feel miserable, unsupported and quite alone even though I have a nice hubby and kids. I think I'm going to have to have a very honest chat with my GP before things get any worse. Thanks for letting me talk.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 bpd will always be a part of you even though you have another diagnosis on top of that. I have some bi polar trays as well as bpd ones. I have manic episodes thats why i am on a tablet to help make them less distructive. Keep posting here if it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 It's totally okay for you to post here, there's a lot of different diagnosed people on these forums. It's not only for BPD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.