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Borderline Personality Disorder And Me..


daniel-benjamin

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Hello,

Well my name is Daniel Benjamin and I am nineteen years old. I'm diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Major Depressive Disorder (MDD).

I take: 150mg Venlafaxine MR, 200mg Topiramate, 5mg Aripiprazole, 150mg Quetiapine MR and 160mg Propranolol MR to help with my mental health. And I also take 2x 30/ 500 Co - Codamaol four times a day, 2x 30mg Nefopam four times a day and 3x 10mg Amitriptyline at night for pain.

I get these on a weekly basis and take them in four separate doses a day.

I live on my own 'independently' in supported accommodation. I currently have therapy once weekly and I also see the community psychiatric nurse once every two weeks. I also have a new Consultant Psychiatrist who i'm seeing in two weeks time.

I am trying to get on a STEPPS course this January, this is "Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving" and is partly based of Dr. Marsha Linehan's Dialectical Behavioural Therapy for BPD. I find out if I've got onto the group this month. (Which is really nerve wracking as there was 47 applicants for only 12 places!)

I study at College, which is really challenging at times but I like it because it's something to focus on. I aspire to medical school / university to become a doctor / clinical psychologist :) We're currently on Christmas break however so I'm finding it pretty tough.

I've never been on a forum / blog before so I'm a real newbie.. I don't really understand how it works! But I hope I can fit in somewhere, I feel very lonely and alone with my diagnosis and disorder and it'd be nice to talk to others.

- Daniel Benjamin

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Hi

Welcome to the forum.. I hope that you feel less lonely here. Thanks for introducing yourself and I hope that you will have a place on the STEPPS course. If you don't get on it this time, will they consider you for the next one? Sorry for all the questions!

Take care and I look forward to seeing you around the forum

Jenny

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Hi Daniel, welcome to the site. Don't worry about not being on a forum before, if there's anything you're not sure of you can always ask. I remember when I joined my first forum (a different depression site) I was confused about certain things. But everyone was really good about explaining and I'm sure it will be the same here. Everyone is really supportive and helpful.

I hope you get on the STEPPS course.

I take co-codamol and amitriptyline too.

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Thank you for your really supportive replies and kindness guys :)

With the STEPPS course it runs twice a year so if not this one, perhaps the next. Fingers crossed though!

Has anyone heard anything about it? I don't know much apart from what I've read? :eh:

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we all here to support each other thats whats so good about this site. Thats why i keep coming back and posting. i would be lost with out my online support network which r all the people on here.

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I have done stepps twice

first time in cmhc and second in the tier 3 unit

didn't really like it - first time was far too unwell really to do it

second time wasn't much better

it is also dependent on who runs it

it is quite structured (a good thing for boundary crossing borderlines)

it looks at our reactions to triggers

how we respond physically, thoughts, feelings, emotions

it looks at how we see things - compared perhaps to others

it addresses sleep patterns and lifestyle

and relationships

I have seen a person far worse than me get LOADS out of it

but others not so much

it also depends of course on how much you put into it

I mostly hated it resented it and wouldn't do the work

it often felt like they were just saying all the stuff parents used to say - re, healthy living

but then many people have not been taught that, not had parents to say those things

its worth doing if you can

even if you feel it does nothing - at least you meet others who think in a similar way

and hopefully some accepting non judgmental clinicians also!!

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I'm sorry you didn't find it helpful, but it's good that it helped the other person so much. smile.png

I'm not too sure on the nurse already, I met her in the assessment. The psychologist sounded a lot nicer on the phone. Maybe they have a whole good cop bad cop thing going on. I'm not sure.

Do you know dialectical behavioural therapy? If so - did it feel like a DBT skills group or a separate skills group altogether? Sorry for all the questions!

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not done dbt - but told by consultant that stepps is sort of bits of dbt/cbt/other stuff

ideally you get family/friends involved so they can also help but we couldn't do that

not being very helpful but just don't find it very easy to explain

you can pm me if you like

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i think that everyone on here does a fantastic job of supporting each other, from the people who run the site to the members on here. I love this place. So glad i found you all. I would be lost with out you all. i will stop rambling on lol.

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