letthelonelyin Posted February 4, 2015 Report Share Posted February 4, 2015 Hey everyone, I suffer from BPD and am more or less constantly paranoid that everyone I love is angry at me and hates me and my verbalisation of these BPD thoughts means that I end up aggravating the people and pushing them away. I hate it as its almost as if I have no control over these thoughts or saying them. But i'm scared that soon i'm going to lose everybody. I was just wondering if anybody had any experiences or helpful things I could try in order to stop this as it is ruining my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 4, 2015 Report Share Posted February 4, 2015 Pushing away thoughts only makes it worse. Accept that you have them and that they scare you but that doesnt mean your thoughts are true..... Have you ever looked into mindfulness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letthelonelyin Posted February 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2015 Hi Lily-Bee, I have tried to look into mindfulness but can never find an appropriate/suitable/relatable resource so it ends up just going right over my head. thank you though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted February 6, 2015 Report Share Posted February 6, 2015 Hi letthelonleyin. Have a look at this post as the OP seems to share what you describe as paranoid thoughts: '&do=embed' frameborder='0' data-embedContent>> I also suffer from that. It's a difficult and lonely existence. Someone suggested a book in the thread that I just left you. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MischaD Posted February 9, 2015 Report Share Posted February 9, 2015 I have these thoughts all the time. I am constantly asking my husband 'What's wrong?' "Is everything ok?" "Are you mad with me?" It takes several reassurances from him that things are fine.....even then I don't always believe him and if I do then it doesn't last long. I have similar thoughts and feelings with friends. Analysing text messages, looking for clues that they are annoyed with me, are going to abandon me etc. Most of the time I don't say to my friends about it but get myself in such a state about it that I start grieving for our friendship and feel like someone has died. It is so horrible and intense. As Lily-Bee has suggested, mindfulness is supposed to be good. I have just recently started this as part of DBT. When I get these thoughts I just sit with them and say for example 'Ok, L hasn't text me back. I feel quite afraid that this means that she is going to dump me as a friend and she hates me.' I acknowledge the thought and how it makes me feel but then tell myself 'It is only a thought, it's not a fact. Thoughts are not facts and I don't have to react to my thoughts and emotions.' Usually I would be on the phone to my husband going over and over the fact that someone hasn't text me back for example, getting myself so upset. However, my psychologist has said that I have to practice not instantly acting on my emotions, just observe and acknowledge that they are emotions, thoughts and feelings - not facts. It's not invalidating how you feel but just accepting that your feelings are not facts. I'm not saying that this instantly makes things ok but the more I practise it then I do see small improvements. At first when my psychologist suggested this I said 'But I feel that I KNOW deep down inside that she hates me.' He would then remind me that it is only a feeling not a fact. Not reacting to feelings and emotions is something that I have done all my life so it is a challenge for me but I'm willing to give it my best shot. Not reacting to the feeling and continually verbalising it is something we are supposed to try and stop doing (according to DBT) this just reinforces our feelings and upsets us more. Hope I didn't ramble on too much and that makes some kind of sense. Perhaps you could look on line for some classes nearby that teach mindfulness or even try yoga or meditation? Good luck with it, I can totally relate to how difficult it is. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 i also suffer with being abandoned somehow thats my biggest fear... Being alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.