Kara. Posted February 7, 2015 Report Share Posted February 7, 2015 I realize that I fear continuity. Whenever I live/engage in something for a certain amount of time I start getting anxious and feel the need to kind of blow it. Discontinue it. These breaks are destructive, of course. Just imagined what would it be like to accept and even welcome continuity in my life. It felt as if having a place to go back to. Like a home. https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=child%27s+drawing+of+a+house&newwindow=1&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=MjbWVPPgFMn4ywPBnIDIAw&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1093&bih=514#imgdii=_&imgrc=Yu7hv6rOeCFQvM%253A%3B3JbhaI3s1GpleM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fpreviews.123rf.com%252Fimages%252Felvinphoto%252Felvinphoto0810%252Felvinphoto081000549%252F3757414-house-kids-art-child-s-drawing-with-crayons-crayon.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.123rf.com%252Fphoto_3757414_house-kids-art-child-s-drawing-with-crayons.html%3B1300%3B913 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted February 7, 2015 Report Share Posted February 7, 2015 Kara..the simple picture is of a home...stable I can't find the words but feel the picture is a powerful projection of your feelings, yes?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted February 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2015 I guess so :-) The stability I missed as a child. And that I would have liked to have inside of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 8, 2015 Report Share Posted February 8, 2015 Im just wondering why you fear it? Is it because its what you want but you fear losing it so you then blow it yourself before you can get hurt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted February 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2015 Im just wondering why you fear it? Is it because its what you want but you fear losing it so you then blow it yourself before you can get hurt? I think that this is correct. I feel my body getting unsettled and ready for the chaos to start and usually it starts. Of course it is me now who makes it this way because people are not there to get me really. It's as if my body has a time memory of a cycle: after the good comes bad. When it doesn't I start getting anxious and seem to need to relieve this anxiety by spoiling the good that I am living. Point is, I need to start bearing that anxiety and bear the goodness continuing in time. What a hard thing to do. I wonder if people get used to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidtory Posted February 8, 2015 Report Share Posted February 8, 2015 Hi, sorry to jump in on this, I am because of the BPD title......... This is my first post. My wife is a BPD sufferer, after a long and dark downhill for me, with us both struggaling to come to terms with my wife's mental state, which was only diagnosed as BP a year ago, I suffered a breakdown a month or so ago, and made a 'light' attempt on my own life. I love my wife very much and we have two lovely children, M (my wife) is a high functioning visible BP, does not self harm outwardly, turns the majority of her angry and hate inwards and is in full addmission of her condition but does not embrace the help on offer to her. I am looking to this site as a means to find others who may be in a similar position, or anybody who might have insites they may wish to share. I feel as though I must be the only person alive trying to live through this, but know I can not be!! Kind regards David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burning wing Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 Hi Davidtory I have been diagnosed with BPD a few months ago and if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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