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Feeling Down


Data

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I've felt a bit down over the last couple of days.

I've given up on my diet. I've given up on my abstinence from alcohol, although I do have limits on it.

Normally I feel good on a Friday but yesterday I just thought... two days and then I've got to go back to fucking work :(.

Its the same old shit.

  • Work is stressful, my supervisor keeps talking about "ending the project" which would mean no job for me. I don't feel respected or appreciated at work.
  • My wife is unhappy. She can't come to terms with our son's disorder, she is bored and stuck in life.
  • My daughter is having frequent temper tantrums, caused mainly by my wife's behaviour (she is extremely disorganised and messy).
  • Our son continues to have problems at school, the headteacher rang a few days ago saying we must bring him to school as he is misbehaving before the class opens.
  • I feel socially isolated. I crave people who I can meet in person who understand me and who I have a friendly rapport with, but there is nobody.
  • I struggle to cope with stress and mood swings.
  • I don't really know what to do with myself a lot of the time.

These problems don't really have a solution. What I should probably be doing is making the best of what I've got. But fuck that. I am angry, resentful, and sad. So I've just started on a bottle of whisky.

I am sorry that I've been a bit of a rubbish peer supporter.

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Data. Sometimes we give some times we receive. And you have just described how much you've got on your plate and how much you are giving.

If I remember correctly you have moved about a year ago for your new job? I also remember you saying that you love your wife and separation is not an option. I found that lovely Data. But certainly something has to change. I can imagine that you might have gone through the different possibilities...

You and your wife sound very stuck and in need of support. There are many practical aspects to consider but what it feels to me when I read your post is that each one of you are living together but quite separately from one another. What could bring the family together emotionally? And how could you get to see real people where you live?

Sorry if this is not at all pertinent.

Hugs Data. I'm sorry that you feel that you have to drink.

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To be fair that sounds like a hell of a lot to cope with. You all seem to be having a lot going on seperately. Would some family counselling be beneficial to you all so you can all rally together a bit as extra support when each other need it. As easy as it is to turn to (and I really do get the appeal) put the whiskey down it's not going to help anything longterm and you will feel shitter tomorrow x

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You know Data Ive seen you struggle with these things for years and you always bravely trying to find your way. I think its ok to sometimes feel fed up etc its not easy by the sounds of it! Maybe you need some time for you, spoil yourself etc and yes feel sorry for you.

Wallowing sometimes is ok and what we need. I do hope youll in time pick up your diet etc again as you where doing so well and seemed to fare pretty good with it.

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Data. Sometimes we give some times we receive. And you have just described how much you've got on your plate and how much you are giving.

If I remember correctly you have moved about a year ago for your new job? I also remember you saying that you love your wife and separation is not an option. I found that lovely Data. But certainly something has to change. I can imagine that you might have gone through the different possibilities...

You and your wife sound very stuck and in need of support. There are many practical aspects to consider but what it feels to me when I read your post is that each one of you are living together but quite separately from one another. What could bring the family together emotionally? And how could you get to see real people where you live?

Sorry if this is not at all pertinent.

Hugs Data. I'm sorry that you feel that you have to drink.

I agree with most of what you have said. And you make a good point about us being separate emotionally, I never thought of it like that.

The big problem though is that you can't help people who won't help themselves. My wife won't agree to go to any sort of therapy, I have discussed it with her several times.

Something will change when my contract ends in this job in August 2016.

To be fair that sounds like a hell of a lot to cope with. You all seem to be having a lot going on seperately. Would some family counselling be beneficial to you all so you can all rally together a bit as extra support when each other need it. As easy as it is to turn to (and I really do get the appeal) put the whiskey down it's not going to help anything longterm and you will feel shitter tomorrow x

You're right about that! I have got a bit of a hangover today.

You know Data Ive seen you struggle with these things for years and you always bravely trying to find your way. I think its ok to sometimes feel fed up etc its not easy by the sounds of it! Maybe you need some time for you, spoil yourself etc and yes feel sorry for you.

Wallowing sometimes is ok and what we need. I do hope youll in time pick up your diet etc again as you where doing so well and seemed to fare pretty good with it.

Thanks Lily-Bee, I am going to have some "me" time this afternoon and just do the things that I enjoy.

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Yes. I think that I will also try and brave outside to find my feet in the world.

Data, you can only do what you can do. You're right people can' be helped if they don't want to be helped. But you have your limits as any human being. Those are real.

I hope that you have a restorative day.

Hugs.

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I hope that you have a restorative day.

Thanks.

I am seeing a doctor tomorrow for a check-up. I'm going to tell them how I feel, and see what happens.

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I saw the GP today. He said that I am flagged as needing to be offered an annual review, because of "something that happened in the 1990s". I had a few admissions to the psychiatric hospital back then.

He offered to increase my medication and I accepted so am now on 40mg citalopram a day instead of 20mg. Lets hope this will help.

I've also bought a tablet organiser from boots so that I remember to take my medication.

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