madonmac1 Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 For a few months now I have been really paranoid about this one person dying. It's got to the point now where if they are offline on facebook for a while, if they don't reply to my messages fast or they don't do what they usually do I get really paranoid and start wondering if something bad has happened to them. This is making me feel very anxious and not letting me enjoy life as much as I used to. Any ideas why I feel this? We never really fall out and when we do its only for a couple of hours until we are back to normal. I have never felt this way for anyone else before. I'm usually quite an emotionless person, but it feels like all the nice emotions I don't feel for anyone else I feel for him. I used to have OCD and mild depression and anxiety issues about 5 years ago which made me very anxious, but usually now I just go through life worry free. But I worry for him more than anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 Hello madonmac1, welcome to the forum. I hope that you can find some support that you may need in here. It's quite hard to say why you feel that way. You do sound very attached to this person but lacking trust that the person is not going to disappear. It can be very hard to want someone that we are attached to and that person is not there for us immediately. Because I suffer from abandonment issues I can get very angry and feel that I want the person very much and at the same time feel so angry that I want to 'kill' them, so to speak. If you are not used to feel many emotions, now that you are feeling attached, you may be feeling that you are losing control..... What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madonmac1 Posted February 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 Hello madonmac1, welcome to the forum. I hope that you can find some support that you may need in here. It's quite hard to say why you feel that way. You do sound very attached to this person but lacking trust that the person is not going to disappear. It can be very hard to want someone that we are attached to and that person is not there for us immediately. Because I suffer from abandonment issues I can get very angry and feel that I want the person very much and at the same time feel so angry that I want to 'kill' them, so to speak. If you are not used to feel many emotions, now that you are feeling attached, you may be feeling that you are losing control..... What do you think? I don't really know what I think of it. Iv'e known him for about 4 years but only now over the past few months we have really gotten a lot closer. I never had these feelings towards him or anyone before until now. It may just be a phase, But it's got to the point now where if he doesn't always reply to my messages I start checking if there have been any traffic accidents around where we live. I do feel like I'm losing control, probably because I haven't had to deal with these emotions for a while now and now their hitting me in the face. I never want to kill him, I get protective if someone is ever hassling him about anything. I try never to resort to violence, but to protect him I would do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 Do you think that that kind of thinking has some relation to ocd type of thinking? I can imagine that it must be very troubling to start looking to see if something bad has happened. I think that only you would eventually know why you are having that fear but it does sound unsettling. And feeling that you are losing control as well. Ocd is very much about wanting things under control, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madonmac1 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 Do you think that that kind of thinking has some relation to ocd type of thinking? I can imagine that it must be very troubling to start looking to see if something bad has happened. I think that only you would eventually know why you are having that fear but it does sound unsettling. And feeling that you are losing control as well. Ocd is very much about wanting things under control, isn't it? Yeah, everything I had used to have to be in a certain place, I couldn't step on the lines on paving stones, I couldn't run round one way without having to run round the other way the same amount of times. I just don't know if it has anything to do with OCD honestly, I don't have many symptoms of it now, I like things to be tidy but so do most people. It's really bringing me down, I have many symptoms of Schizophrenia which may have something to do with it although I have never been formally diagnosed. We spend quite a lot of time together which is good because I don't worry then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 It sounds like you love this person? I dont know if as a friend or more then that but you say you havent felt this much for someone maybe ever? That in itself is a scary thing, the more we love something often the more aware we become of the reality that it can go away. Its ok to be scared at the same time you worrying about him dying wont make it not happen if it where to, it only makes you enjoy the time you have with him less now. My advice would be to be kind to yourself as this is scary stuff at the same time do remind yourself that life will unfold as it will, you cannot control it to that degree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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