Religion

[burning wing]

I was raised as a Christian, and my parents were very religious, actually, not normally religious. They made me fast and pray, and if I didn't, they beat me. They are extremely religious and follow every word as it is written, and they thought they did good for me as they were very cruel to me, because they thought I would grow up more Christian then. And now religion is a traumatic question for me and very triggering. Now that I am a student and live separately from my parents, I have sort of freedom to choose how to live. Whenever I read something or talk about religion, I get very depressed and can't help crying constantly for a few days. I have no desire to pray or fast or follow any Christian values. But on the other hand, I believe God does exist and He isn't as cruel as my parents taught me. But I feel very guilty for not going to Church, not praying, not fasting, not following any rules. And I can't make myself. I want God to accept me as I am, unconditionally, with me not doing anything for it. But religion teaches us it doesn't happen, one needs to fight his sins and so on. I don't want to go to hell after I die, although it seems not to matter, since I have already been and am there. I am constantly afraid that everything I do or think is sinful, even though it may not be, and I cannot make myself be a Christian, and I cannot make myself believe there is no God (although I tried to). I always end up believing I'm the worst person in the world, completely unworthy of any love and care from God. I'm tired of fighting myself or religion inside myself, and I can't get these weird pieces of me in order.

[walker]

we think god loves you whether you know 'him' or not and whether you pray or not and whether you go to church or not

and his heart, if he had one like a human, would go out to you for your suffering

he is not cruel

and he DOES love you and accept you unconditionally

that's what we believe

it is tragic

that you want a 'safe' faith, you want to believe, yet you are so terrified of it all

distance (from parents) time and new influences can help you

but we understand how terribly hard it will be for you to trust that anyone 'of faith' will be gentle and accepting and loving

but it is possible we think

we have issues with it all

for other reasons

[Eagleheart]

Burning wing- your life was given as a gift. You don't have to pay for it or earn it by following rigid rules.

Fear is not a godly blessing. He wants you to be free & to enjoy his gift.

I am NOT religious. I am a victim of a twisted church but I got away.

[Lily-Bee]

I believe that too that if there is a God he is truly kind and loving, he only wants people I think to be loving and kind too I dont he cares about going to church or rules that are in the bible etc.

He loves you period.

Does it help you to remember that the bible was written by people and is interpreted by people, not God its the people that made up all the rules etc The bible is open to many interpretations I believe in the most loving version of that.

[burning wing]

Thank you all, really, you helped me see it from another perspectivel. Indeed, God really loves everyone regardless of anything, otherwise what would be the reason to believe in God whose love is conditional? And all the rules are really made by people. Thanks a lot!

[Afrika2015]

I don't know what to tell you. I am a Muslim but i'd say do whatever works for you and whatever brings you peace. If you feel bad for not going church, go church and see what happens.