addy2 Posted February 22, 2015 Report Share Posted February 22, 2015 Do you think its possible to do this alone? Ive had an ok few days anxiety and feeling low and exhausted but i can cope with that. I cant cope with the constant rejection i feel when i ask for help and no one helps, no therapy for a few weeks i am glad and ive stopped my meds because when i called and asked the receptionist when i was due my appt she said the dr isnt doing any clinics hes on the wards and your on the waiting list but shes lying and she said if you need the duty officer you have to get your gp to contact us which again is lies as i am supposed to be able to call in when i need. Also emailed the psychologist who is my mentor for the dbt induction pack im writing she never replied, also she would have missed our call only i emailed her and then she she lied saying she was going out but before that she wasnt going anywhere so she lied again. I have only ever made it too three hours of group where others have been two full days twice a month, i dont even know the others i dont feel part of it so im leaving it too. I was helping with a recovery college thats being set up here for people with mh issues and my name had been given to two people as i was interested in helping write their courses but again i was rejected, I think i had a few ok days because i was away from all that busy with other stuff. I just wondered did anyone else ever try it alone? No meds or support, the way i feel is they dont care anyway so why bother? I dont think i have mental illness of any kind im just bored maybe and looking support and no one can help as thats not real im really ok, so heres to life mh free and med free x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vez Posted February 22, 2015 Report Share Posted February 22, 2015 Hi addy, It sounds like you are trying your best to get help and support and not having much luck. We are all worthy of help and should receive it. Unfortunately the system fails us in many ways at times, its totally unacceptable to let people down like this. All I can say is dont give up, its your right to receive help. It may seem easier to go it alone and without meds but I think this is a dangerous road to go down. I believe that if you have different avenues around you with different types of support, you are more likely to succeed. Like posting on this forum for example, use as many resources as u can, thats always helped me. Have u had a diagnosis or been on meds before? Keep going you are not alone and there are people who care even if its not always obvious at first. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2015 Thanks vez i have several different dx, including bpd, ocd, argorphobia, major depressive disorder and DID, ive been on meds constantly since last feb when i was in hospital but before that i refused them. Im just fed up, im in therapy but its not helping i had dbt it made me worse, i think i really am unhelpable it seems the more people get to know me the more they realise there is nothing they can do. Ive been in trauma therapy 9 months now but shes not sure it will work i havent been able to talk, i even had a fallout with a support line i use, i think its best to avoid them all, the rejection is way too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 23, 2015 Report Share Posted February 23, 2015 The thing is I am pretty sure people are not rejecting you personally. There are so many reasons why people can seem unavaileble that have nothing to do with you. As for people in the MH field, its very hard for them often; loads of them have too big a workload, there is all this paperwork involved that complicates things and just too many patients/clients to be able to give them their full attention. Also the whole thing is so badly organised that one person can tell you one thing and another another thing, that doesnt have to mean theyre lying it may simply be that there is no consenses about the way to go and no communication between workers so that one doesnt know what the other is doing or has promised you! And most of the time it is not because they do not care but they are overworked and also sadly sometimes underqualified. The most people in this field do it for the right reasons unless theyre private they really dont get payed enough to do it just for the money. So maybe it can help if you can try to remember these things. They are not I think rejecting you. Going it alone I do not think is a good idea at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2015 I ususally spend alot of time trying to convince myself its not personal i struggle with this alot, no matter what happens anywhere i take it personally. I understand they are so busy which is why i try not to contact them unless i really really need to but i think ive come to realise it doesnt make much difference anyway and i ahve one person telling me to call and then the receptionist telling me not too and shes only the receptionist she shouldnt really be saying that. Im angry that im helping the mh services by writing stuff for their recovery college and helping the pd service with an induction pack but it creates alot for me and i feel like a failure. I just want to run away from it all and all the time my therapist asks me how do i think her therapy will help, i'll never know if she never starts and i hate how i get a thought and it becomes an obsession. Thankyou for replying lily i do try to tell myself its not rejection but what i know and what i feel are sometimes different and that makes it hard and i think if i'm away from them all i cant feel rejected by them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 23, 2015 Report Share Posted February 23, 2015 I can understand that about the thoughts and feelings not being the same thing. I hope you will continue to try though to get the help you need. Maybe you can see it as a oppertunity to practice dealing with feelings of rejection. Have you ever tried selfcompassion techniques? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2015 The psychologist who mentors me sent me a link on self compassion she said that when i cant go somewhere or do something that i should be kind to myself instead of putting myself down about it. Its hard, everyone says im my own worst enemy, i probably am, im not happy with myself so much is wrong which makes me feel useless. Today was exhausting i had to meet with an autism social worker for my three sons she said i qualify for respite for my son as three of them have autism and i have mental health issues i thought that always has to come into it they even told her about the over doses i took. I could never send my son for respite i would be totally heartbroken i know its a good thing but its not something i could do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 23, 2015 Report Share Posted February 23, 2015 If respite is not what you want well youre the boss, the youre the mum you dont have to.......... As for the selfcompassion it can help if you try to imagine what someone who loves you and wants the best for you would say to you and would do. You could imagine us, what we would say and advise and do for you if we where there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2015 Thats a good way of looking at it, its hard though, i get so frustrated i want to do so much and i feel i hold myself back. Im feeling ill with a headache i thought i was going to fall over in town got dizzy and strange now my head is sore im assuming its stress maybe with so much going on. Your right i am the boss and i dont want my wee boy to go so i wont send him xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted February 24, 2015 Report Share Posted February 24, 2015 Hi addy. Sorry you feel so alone. It took many years for me before i got back on the right path with out self medication to figure out what and who the hell i am. I still dont know. Keep posting here if it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 Its still stressful, been fuzzy all day and had the police arrive here at 1am cause I had ended the call with lifeline they asked why was I refusing help I didn't know i was refusing help. I just feel messed up and all over the place i was supposed to call and get an emergency appt with my GP but I couldn't face it no one can help x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.