First Date! Please Help!

[cm23]

So I am a single mom, newly diagnosed with BPD but it's definitely been a big player in my life and my relationships. I haven't been on a date since before I had my son (2 years now!) so I am really nervous. I know I'm getting a head of myself, but I'm worrying about when and how to tell a potential partner about my diagnosis and what it means in a relationship. I mean, I definitely won't be telling him on the first date but if it starts to turn into something, I don't want to be dishonest. And he would need to know as being in a relationship with someone with BPD can sometimes be challenging in different ways. Does anybody have any experience in this and some wisdom they can impart? I need to cool my anxiety! Please and thank you :)

[Saharah Blue]

just get through the first date and see if you even like him?

Let it unfold naturally when it seems obvious that strong feelings positive or negative aren't just nothing, relax try and have a nice time, see what flags up for you when you are out on the date that will give you a better idea of what issues you might need to talk about with any future partner.

Best of luck.

Sah

[b0bulat0r]

Hiya

I am always honest about my Aspergers although that does put people off, I don't care though because that weeds out the people who aren't right for me anyway and saves some time,

I dated a girl with BPD once, She was lovely and her condition didn't negatively effect me too much, except that when she was down I really wished I could do something to make it better and so I felt kinda helpless and shitty that nothing I could do made it better,

its going to be hard because you are a single mum, (I don't mean any offense by this) but alot of guys are put off by children just as much as they are mental health issues because they don't want to jump into a family or "become a dad", although in your mind you might be saying oh that doesn't have to happen for ages in the guys mind he is going to know that the two of you come as a package and if the relationship is going to go somewhere he will have to eventually step into a family type role for the relationship to function.

There are some guys that won't be phased by it at all (I proposed to a women who was pregnant with a kid that wasn't even mine when her violent abusive shit for a boyfriend ran away and left her when she was 5 months pregnant) so I was willing to take on a baby that wasn't even mine, (ultimately she said I was trying to be a shining knight and she couldn't let me "throw my life away" so she said no and moved back home with her parents for them to support her) but the fact remains that I was willing to

Just as you can find guys willing to deal with your parental status you will find guys willing to deal with your MH issues,

remember that EVERYONE goes into a relationship with baggage, we all have a past and we all have problems and issues, none of us are perfect.

if you find the right partner then you are both able to see through each others imperfections and focus on the good.

I'm not one to give relationship advice because my track record is so poor. but it is important you are true to yourself and don't try to change things to be accepted, down the line you will only feel regret and it will build into something that one day will explode.

remember that if someone doesn't like you for who you are it is THERE problem not yours, you will find someone who loves you for who you are

just let it come naturally it will hit you when you least expect it, (I keep telling myself that! maybe one day who knows )