Kara. Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 I'm not ok. I try everything so hard. Sometimes I feel that I don't want to keep going. I want to stop and cry forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted March 9, 2015 Report Share Posted March 9, 2015 Hi Karaindrou, I know you are not ok and I know things are very tough for you at the moment.I am glad you have posted because it gives me an opportnity to say how much you mean to me and many more people here. Would you be able to talk here about how you are feeling, maybe that would help a little.x PS is yourinbox full as I can't pm you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted March 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 thank you bluemoon. you know that i appreciate you a lot as well, don't you? sometimes hope fails me. i feel tired and lonely. i just want to curl up and cry without any interruptions. i don't want to be asked to stop crying. i wish i had someone who would stay with me while i cried forever. i wish i could accept that support. humbly. i have deleted some messages. thank you dear bluemoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 Yes I know, wanting someone to hold us but not believeing that will ever be possible. So cry hun its.ok xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 I can relate karaindrou and i know we aren't there in reality but I am there virtually for you, i wish i was there to hold you and comfort you, i do hope you can feel how much i want to do that. I'm sending all my love hugs and nicest thoughts that i have. I'm the same as blue moon you mean so much to me and i want you to know that xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 I have a hard time taking in support as well, I can relate to that part and there have been so many times I have felt so frazzled there was nothing left of me to keep going with. It sounds like some serious duvet time is in order *offers tissue take some down time for yourself before it take you *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyChain Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 with loving thoughts for you and a virtual blanket to wrap you in, just let it out karaindrou, in tears or words xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 hi cara. So sorry your struggling right now. I know you have been having a rough time of late and i just wanna offer a warm kind hug to you. Hang in there sweets. We all value your input here. Your well liked. I know it may not look like that right now but we all care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b0bulat0r Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 Want to echo what others have said above *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted March 10, 2015 Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 Oh hun,I know how that feels. I want to help. If I could take your pain away & carry it for you,I would do it gladly. It is so draining to put on the "I'm fine" mask day after day,week after week & you don't have to pretend anymore. Allow yourself time to just "be". It's okay to not be okay. Love & light.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted March 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 thank you all for your lovely support and kind words. i didn't sleep but had to go to work. it was hard to shift to the functional side, but i am finally in bed and will use all your thoughts, well wishes, duvets, blankets, care, tissues and hugs to comfort me. thank you for understanding. that's all i needed. to be real and accepted. hugs lovely people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 How are you Kara? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted March 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 Steve thank you for asking. That's touching. I feel better than when I wrote the post. It has been a difficult time. I am trying to understand what it means to have good things in my life and fighting myself to not destroy them. It's like learning a new language and I am only learning the first letters of the alphabet. I feel stronger though but still wishing I could stop working and give myself some time. Hugs Steve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiniToni Posted March 13, 2015 Report Share Posted March 13, 2015 I'm so sorry I have only just seen this. I'm glad you are feeling slightly better but so sad you were feeling like this, you are so lovely and kind and have been an absolute lifeline for me recently. Remember what you post to other people and try to listen to it, be kind to yourself and take time for yourself and it is ok to feel how you are. Is there anyone around you who can give you that hug irl and are you maybe doing to much, is there anything that can be put ti the sidelines for a while so you can give yourself some time. sending you such big hugs xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted March 13, 2015 Report Share Posted March 13, 2015 i have that issue about learning not to reck things specially when they goin well. I have a big self distruct button in my head n i havent pushed it for ages. I have probably jinxed my self now by writing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted March 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 13, 2015 TiniToni thank you. Sometimes I too go down. I do feel that I could do a bit less at the moment but I can only stop in a few months time. I am trying to give myself some duvet time though. I could ask for a hug, yes. I have asked for help in the past, but my friends now have babies and partners... We still hug but the hug I needed was a long and patient hug. I wouldn't be able to cry like that with everyone. Thank you for your help and I will listen to what I post to others :-) Fair point! :-) I've got your hugs all around me. Maddy, I hope that your button is old, rusty and not working anymore. It's a problematic button and I wish I didn't have one. I also with you didn't have one. Hugs to both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 mine is still bright red and its a big button at that. Hope your ok today cara. Thinking of you. Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubbles.. Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 Sending positive thoughts your way xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 Kara...you do deserve the good things in your life Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 i back what steve said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted March 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 maddy, I hope that that button will be out of order one day. (((maddy))) Steve, I read in another post that you and your partner are moving in together. I want to congratulate you and tell you that I feel happy for you. Thank you for your kind words. Will try and take them in. The same for you maddy. Thank you all for your good wishes. Bubbles, have you been promoted to moderator or have you always been moderator? You haven't have you? If you were, well deserved. If you were not, then you deserved it even longer ago. :-) Hugs!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 hey kara,hoping you are giving the same care and kindness to yourself as you do so wonderfully to us here. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiniToni Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 I hope you are feeling better. I just wanted to say I have a partner and children but if one if my friends needed me to hug them all evening whilst they cried I happily would as I'm sure your friends would to, I think just once you have those things your headspace is a little bit more used up so maybe you aren't as aware to when your friends need you (I know I am guilty of that) I vet though if you were open and said hiw hard it was and that you needed them they would be there. I hope they are for you anyway. Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted March 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 I am trying bluemoon. Thank you. Sometimes it's easier than others. I had a good dialogue today with my inner little child and I was able to comfort her. Success. She was very upset because she doesn't want me to let anyone closer as she fears that she will be rejected and abandoned. It's hard because I would like to have a partner, or even to let my T closer to her/us/me. Work in progress! TiniToni I could ask some good friends, but like you, I don't want to disturb them. They already have so much on. I have therapy and I do write to my T if I need. I also talk with some friends when I am very upset. But that hug! That hug TiniToni... I could never ask anyone. I have to, haven't I? :-) Hugs lovely people. I am feeling better. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helenh Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 Hi Karaindrou I have just seen this post and read through it all, i am glad you have started to feel better. i know how you feel, needing that hug but not having the right person to do it. My ex is the right person, as long as i keep myself in check, and control my emotions its all fine. as soon as he says or does something that causes me to be over emotional or react in a way he thinks is wrong, thats it, he backs off and says im being like i was and he cant handle it. Therapy is helping, and im trying hard to do the right things every day but its hard, isnt it. sometimes you do just want to sit and cry and cry and cry cos the pain and anxiety is so strong and raw it cant be stopped. ive done that all day today, and instead of going to my parents, who would hug me, or a friend, i have barricaded myself on my own at home. i just want this rollercoaster of feelings to stop so i can just chill the F*** out you know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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