addy2 Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 I have been doing some service user work with the mh team I am helping co produce a course on understanding emotions and I was asked to give a recording of my recovery story which is taking place tomorrow. The thing is I have never reached a point where I could say I am in recovery. I was dx with panic disorder at 18 and several other labels followed. I relapse alot I get things to an ok point and then that's it, it goes again I hate how I have never been able to keep it there it makes me feel like a failure. I have struggles for years and each new label just made me feel worse about myself. All the other stories I have heard have been positive but mine is so negative. It wont offer much hope to anyone. Most people start of really ill then get treatment then get better I seem to go from ill to ok then back to really unwell. I wasn't hospitalised or suicidal until five years ago but I have had mental health issues for 21 years. It makes no sense and I'm scared I'll leave something out or I tend to talk all over the place and it wont make sense. I'm scared it will depress me make me feel low, right now I'm in my world but I need to stay here where nothing impacts me and I'm scared tomorrow will unsettle me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyChain Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 Is there the possibility that you can back out of the recording tomorrow addy? You need to do what is right for you, to keep yourself safe. On the other hand if you think you could face going ahead with it, I think it would be very helpful to many others to see that recovery isnt always a straight line, many people without MH issues believe that you should be ill then get a tablet and a little talking and everything will be fine, but realistically thats not the way it happens for many of us, and personally I would feel comforted to know that I wasnt a failure because i didnt get better straight away after a 12 week cbt course or 18 weeks of therapy - for most of us what is offered on the NHS is unrealistic. What you would be offering is that you are a survivor and like many other people Please try not to be too harsh on yourself, but remember its what YOU need to do for YOU that counts tomorrow, I'm sure there will always be another time to do this if you can at a later date Good luck, whatever you decide x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MischaD Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 I agree with daisy chain. Your experience of healing to a point then relapsing is a realistic path. I am sure that your story would help people see that - it's a bumpy road but progress can be made. At the end of the day you can only do what is right for you. Perhaps speak to someone before the recording and explain your anxieties. It may end up making you feel a bit better or you may decide that now is not the right time. Hopefully you can speak to someone who can help you make the best decision you are comfortable with. Good luck. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 I hope that recording your story doesn't depress you too much. If you are scared about what you write then try writing it in a draft form, save it, then keep it for a day or two and check it before you send it. Don't worry about it being negative as long as it is real. The mental health team might be able to learn from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 aww addy. Hope it goes well for you. Xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 have you done the recording Addy? I think your story would be very valuable. It's true that a lot of the stories we here about are the people who recover and stay recovered but for a lot of people mental health problems are longterm and we have to learn to live with them just like we cope with longterm physical problems and hearing from people who are coping with it every day and have done for a long time are the kind of people who can inspire and reassure us that we can get through it even when it seems impossible. The positive stories make me feel worse because it's just an example of something I couldn't do. However your first duty of care is to yourself and if it's not right for you then you shouldn't have to do it. I think it's great that you've even considered it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted March 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 I said I wasn't comfortable being recorded so they Interviewed me and asked questions and someone else will speak my story. It was ok alot of it was question based how I became involved in the recovery college and how it has helped. It was ok. I'm supposed to be helping write a course on emotional regulation I don't feel I'm much help and another psychologist has put my name down for me to do a module on emotional regulation for my own benefit so I'm clearly struggling somewhere and I feel pressured to help but i sort of feel I need help myself. Feeling crap today struggling not to od have no idea why these feelings take over. Thankyou everyone for asking how I got on xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.