Eagleheart Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 I have to get this out.Sorry for my stupid posts atm. I just want to help EVERYONE.I've always believed that doing a good deed is rewarding.But i've changed my mind. Last week,i was contacted privately on a social media site.A guy who i do not know at all started sending distraught mssgs.He'd had his heart broken & was talking about wanting to die. I was telling him loads of positive stuff,trying really hard to get him back from the black place. Then,he went silent on me.He had asked if he could phone me & i had said NO,because i don't know him & i didn't want to get involved in his problems. Fast forward to today & it is now a formal police investiation & i may be contacted by them. It has got very very stressful & i feel so guilty.If i had just agreed to speak to him,he would probably be safe & sound.Me turning him down seems to have been the last straw.He left a very obvious suicide post online & has not been heard of or seen,since. I gather that the police are not ruling out suicide OR murder. So altogether,the last few days have been a nightmare & i wish to god i had not tried to help a relative stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyChain Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 It's not your fault Eagleheart, whatever he chooses to to with his life, you can only help so much, but you have to keep yourself safe and no-one should expect a relative stranger to give their personal number out. Personally I dont do phone calls from anyone I meet online, whoever they are and how well I think I know them. Its my boundary and we all need boundaries - sme people wont like that but I still have to stand my ground for my own safety and that of my children Please dont be so harsh on yourself, it is his choice, and nothing you said or didnt say will have made him do anything bad - its HIS choice x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted March 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 Oh Daisy chain,thank you for your kind words. I am so messed up about the whole situation. I've had a friend of his being really pushy with me,telling me to mssg his ex,putting pressure on me & just nipping at me. I don't think I will try & help a stranger ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 Oh Eagle - this is so NOT your fault. I agree totally with Daisychain. He has a mind of his own and is a grown, responsible adult - his choices are HIS and no-one else's. Please don't let this become your guilt. I would have said 'no' too, for what it's worth and I don't think you acted unreasonably at all. There are places he could have called if he was in crisis and I am sure the police will understand that, should they get involved. You are a kind, loving person and this person should not have been exploiting that in his expectations of you. Warm hugs xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted March 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 Thank you Artemis. It's hard not to feel guilty. If he is dead,I am partly responsible. And that is a horrible realisation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted March 16, 2015 Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 I disagree. If he has chosen to end his own life, I think he is responsible, not you. But I can understand why you feel like you do, totally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted March 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2015 So I've been torturing myself for 5 days over not letting the suicidal guy phone me & have been dealing with what I thought was a highly distressed friend of his. Then this evening she mssgd me & said he'd been found alive. I mssgd her back straight away & guess what? She had instantly blocked me. WTF? I'm starting to think it was all a deliberate wind up & they're having a right old laugh at me. Why block me immediately? I was only going to thank her for letting me know he was OK. I will NEVER help a stranger EVER again. I'm such a fucking idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 Gosh eagle sounds very distressing, do you think it was a hoax? If it was want an awful thing to do to somebody. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted March 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 I can't be 100% sure Blue moon but it all seems dodgy. It was the way she instantly blocked me that makes me really suspicious. I have expended so much emotional energy over the whole thing,I've become physically unwell. It has also set me back psychologically. I have bashed my leg to bits again today. What a fucking joke I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted March 17, 2015 Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 Eagleheart please don't put yourself down like that. You were trying to be helpful but also setting up the necessary, I repeat, necessary boundaries. It sounds awful that you thought the person had died, but if he had called and then wanted to see you and then wanted to stay at your place for a day or two and then couldn't leave because of whatever.... it really is unpredictable. Even if someone is so close to death, one needs to protect oneself. If it was an hoax... gosh no. i find it hard to believe. Maybe the person messaged you but wanted to set up some boundaries for safety, embarrassment, who knows? They also don't know you. They don't know that you are a very kind person. What a nightmare eagle! Hope you can rest tonight. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted March 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2015 Thanks kara. Now that you mention it,I DID set boundaries, which I never usually do. So something good has come out of the whole shitty situation. Thanks to all of you for helping me through this.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.