What exactly is wrong with me? Confused? Please reply.

[Lilian95]

Lately I was thinking i had some kind of personality disorder but I really dont know. I have been experiencing feelings of dislike of my family, honestly its bordering on hate and through out my teenage years ( but it all started when i was 9 or 10) it expanded to a dislike of almost everyone. Even people I dont know. I am now 20 and i have become completely disconnected from all love and respect for anyone. The only thing i like is being by myself. I have no interest in any kind of relationship because to me they are pointless. The thing that is bugging me is i am so fustrated about having no one that understands. I have "evil" thoughts (more like daydreams) and it makes me happy when i think about them. I also have anxiety not that has anything to do with it. Don't judge me. I am just young and confused. My head is constantly buzzing! I need answers.

[addy2]

you need to speak to a psychiatrist or a doctor only they can diagnose you. I have a personalty disorder but I don't hate people and I don't have evil thoughts I don't think its something that comes with just a personality disorder, but we are all different.

[Kara.]

Hi Lilian. I have known other people that feel like that. It's not easy to feel hatred and have 'evil thoughts' as you said. And enjoy them. Remember that thoughts and feelings are not actions. This is the most important thing. Many people feel like that and i think that understanding why one feels and thinks certain things help a lot. Seeing a psychiatrist is a very good idea in my opinion. Are you thinking to go to book an appointment? 

My experience of this forum is that people don't judge each other. It's ok Lilian. I have felt really difficult feelings. You are reaching out so you also have other type of feelings.