How much am I at a disadvantage making conversation with nostalgia disorder?

[Amazonrocks]

So I have an imagination disorder known as nostalgia. In case people wonder what this disorder is, it's basically a disorder where one is clinging to everything that made them happy in the past and has aversions to everything in the present. This basically describes me. I'm one that only ever likes to talk about past events and pop culture. I find this immensely hurts me in conversation with people. I feel so outdated with people that it prevents me from wanting to have friends, because most of the time even the people who have interest in stuff in the past will revert back to stuff in the present, which causes me to immediately shut off in conversation because I find stuff in the present to be torturous and can't make any comments on anything I don't know about. The reason I feel this way about the present stuff is because as a kid I couldn't wait to talk to friends telling them about how exciting professional wrestling was or how funny tv shows were or how great sports were. Nowadays everything related to pop culture and current events are torturously boring to me. Like literally every time I give something a try like a new tv show, I anticipate more when the show is over more than what is going on because I feel my mind is being put in a torture chamber. Like I feel I'm in an era where there is a rotating cycle of never ending pop culture boredom, current events boredom, or whatever it is in the present.

In the past everything was so different for me. Wrestling was violent and pushed the limits to try to entertain you. Now they make wrestling into a generic kid show designed for boring soccer moms and their kids. In the past baseball was fun with a lot of runs scored, now everything is mostly 2-1 games and it almost never happens where we see a 12-10 score. In the past, sitcom tv shows like Family Matters stressed controversial  issues like the dangers of using guns or gambling, nowadays sitcoms address none of those themes in the shows. It's as if the world has punished me for having too good of a time in the past that now they must make me go through times of suffering and agitation on every level by putting everything out there that just the opposite of what would commend my interest. Never in my wildest dreams did I think modern pop culture would reach a point where conversation about stuff in the present would be next to impossible for me.

This is the whole reason though that I find it hard to make any friends or hang out with friends on any consistent basis whatsoever. People will get tired of me only ever being interested in the same jokes, shows, sports, or movies from the past. Again it's not because I don't give a lot of stuff a try in the present, it's just that the stuff in the present is simply not generating any interest from me whatsoever because it doesn't provide the hook I'm searching for to captivate my interest.  The difference is that in the present I steer away from people after a one time deal where as the past I run up to people every time being excited by just how good things were and now they are not at all for me. It's never a matter of social anxiety or shyness for me, but the fact that people will often get tired of talking about the same stuff over and over again.

[bluemoon5]

sigh

[Data]

Amazonrocks, I am wondering if your post is a genuine introduction to the forum, or if in fact you are just having a joke (trolling).  

[Amazonrocks]

Amazonrocks, I am wondering if your post is a genuine introduction to the forum, or if in fact you are just having a joke (trolling).  

​

No it's actually a legitimate problem that has plagued me, but I guess this forum is not for discussing problems one is having then. Why would I want to troll about this?

[Kara.]

Someone in my family who also is bpd, has the same as you. In the past  could only offer books until a certain date (century). Contemporary books was a big no no. On his FB he posts stuff about the past, past and past. No change in my grandmother's house is possible as that would bury the past. As people die the pain sinks in and not only the present but also the future become too threatening.

Have looked for groups with the same condition as yours? Or theme groups that discuss stuff that you like? 

It's funny. I usually see a guy when I go to work that dresses like the 60s. I often think that he hasn't been able to catch up with modern (whatever this means) culture. 

So what do you like from the past? And what's the treatment for your nostalgia?

 

[Lily-Bee]

People please give this member an honest chance to express his/her issues, he/she deserves support too!

 

Amazon I am sorry people have reacted this way. Ia m afraid weve had some trolls and so people are suspicious. I know this can be a real issue and I personally welcome you here and encourage you to keep posting.

[Amazonrocks]

Someone in my family who also is bpd, has the same as you. In the past  could only offer books until a certain date (century). Contemporary books was a big no no. On his FB he posts stuff about the past, past and past. No change in my grandmother's house is possible as that would bury the past. As people die the pain sinks in and not only the present but also the future become too threatening.

Have looked for groups with the same condition as yours? Or theme groups that discuss stuff that you like? 

It's funny. I usually see a guy when I go to work that dresses like the 60s. I often think that he hasn't been able to catch up with modern (whatever this means) culture. 

So what do you like from the past? And what's the treatment for your nostalgia?

 

​Well I can say when I was younger it seemed like when it came to pop culture they could do no wrong for me. Like literally when it came to discussing wrestling or sports or music or movies or tv shows I was glued and I couldn't wait to discuss it with friends and such. It was so good for me back then that everything I saw stuck with me and could never be forgotten. Now I watch a new tv show or movie and not only do I find it extremely boring, but I literally can't remember much of anything about it after I watch it. It's like my mind completely turns off as far as remembering something from it if it's not investing and interesting to me. I briefly discussed this with my therapist, but we need to get into more as I'm dealing with other issues of ADHD affecting my performance at my teaching job. It makes me wonder if anything with ADHD could have something to do with why I don't like anything with current events or anything in the present.  I tell ya I feel like I'm snake bit and it's as if the pop culture gods are intentionally making life miserably for me in this era we live in because I had too perfect of an experience in the past. I guess I feel some bitterness, because I know it can be so much better if they stuck to what made it so good in the first place, which is keeping to the stuff from the past. I understand things change with time, but movie directors and even sports to some extent don't keep with anything from the past that made them successful for me. I feel as though not every single little thing should be different.

[Amazonrocks]

People please give this member an honest chance to express his/her issues, he/she deserves support too!

 

Amazon I am sorry people have reacted this way. Ia m afraid weve had some trolls and so people are suspicious. I know this can be a real issue and I personally welcome you here and encourage you to keep posting.

​Thank you! I appreciate you backing me here. Want to be my date tonight? Just kidding don't answer that. See now this would be something a troll would post. I'm just here, because I need as much help as possible so hopefully people are going to be generous to me and give me some good advice that I would so greatly appreciate.

[Kara.]

I can't help you but I am curious about your 'condition'. If you kept on watching the same things over and over again, would the feeling be different every time? I mean, how do you recreate those first moments of perfection? WHen I find a new music that I like, I listen to it so many times that at some point i need a break from it. The same with food. Repetition transforms it, takes some emotional intensity away.

I was thinking of space. I do get some nostalgia when I go to a place that I really liked in childhood or other time, and see it transformed. Yes, it's difficult to accept that that place has gone. Sometimes I dont even like going back because of that. It's hard to enjoy that place but not hard to enjoy other places. Or other films other animations, other musics. Blimey! There is great stuff happening. Though I go back to old animations and old stuff to reconnect with my inner child and my past.

It's so interesting Amazon though obviously hard for you. It's amazing when you say that any little thing should be different.

Let me just say... you mention pop culture as if that is the only contemporary 'culture' in the world. How many different forms of music, cinema, etc are there? There is so much variety to choose from. I'm really intrigued. 

Sorry if I'm not helpful. 

Hugs and keep sharing. 

 

 

[Amazonrocks]

I can't help you but I am curious about your 'condition'. If you kept on watching the same things over and over again, would the feeling be different every time? I mean, how do you recreate those first moments of perfection? WHen I find a new music that I like, I listen to it so many times that at some point i need a break from it. The same with food. Repetition transforms it, takes some emotional intensity away.

I was thinking of space. I do get some nostalgia when I go to a place that I really liked in childhood or other time, and see it transformed. Yes, it's difficult to accept that that place has gone. Sometimes I dont even like going back because of that. It's hard to enjoy that place but not hard to enjoy other places. Or other films other animations, other musics. Blimey! There is great stuff happening. Though I go back to old animations and old stuff to reconnect with my inner child and my past.

It's so interesting Amazon though obviously hard for you. It's amazing when you say that any little thing should be different.

Let me just say... you mention pop culture as if that is the only contemporary 'culture' in the world. How many different forms of music, cinema, etc are there? There is so much variety to choose from. I'm really intrigued. 

Sorry if I'm not helpful. 

Hugs and keep sharing. 

 

 

To answer your first couple of questions. ​I really never feel any different seeing the same things over and over again, because I feel so much of it adds meaning to my life to a point I can never seem to grow tired from it. When issues such as the dangers of drugs or dangers of gambling or not using guns are stressed in tv shows those themes never get tiring for me no matter how many times I watch them over and over again, because I find them that meaningful. I guess what I'm trying to say is that as long as something  proved its' worth to gratify  me I would never get tired of it, because at that point I would feel things couldn't possibly be any better and it would be considered something meaningful to me. I feel the same way with jokes. I could listen to the same joke 1000000000 times over and over again, but I would never get tired of it, because it did exactly what it needed to do to gratify me so I'm satisfied. It's sad and unfortunate for me that I have people issues as far as conversation, because I feel I have to be forced into liking things in the present even if it tortures my mind to death. I mean truth be told it's not like I don't try to give a trillion things a try in the present, it's just I find it all torturous for me. I have to like things I hate just to have a chance with people, which of course only makes me more unhappy,  but I guess that's the story of my life now compared to a complete opposite in the past.   Also one other clarifying point about me feeling that things should be different. I am referring to the fact that I feel not every single thing in the present should be different from every single thing in the past, which I feel it is. To answer your question about theme groups from your previous post, the answer is a no, but I really don't if it would be even possible to find people with the same type of condition as me. I mean how likely is it exactly to find a group of people who only ever would want to talk about past stuff?  Maybe I could find people that are interested in some past stuff, but the moment the conversation changes to anything present I would completely shut off, because I just can't seem to get invested in it. 

 

 

To answer

[Kara.]

I am sure that there are more people like you. Just googled it and some people in two different forums have posted about it. But I can see it being a problem. Blimmey! I would not go back even if I was paid a lot of money. I mean, in terms of music I would. I loved the 80s and beginnings of 90s. Just beginning of 90s. I have fond memories of it. But in terms of experience, I am now free from some hard stuff and from that perspective no past please. 

When I think of nature I don't think of past and present. It's just as much as I am. Just being. 

You are welcome to speak about whatever you want :-)