Emma1980 Posted April 22, 2015 Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 I have just (in January) been diagnosed with BPD and I'm finding it hard to cope with what it all means. I am currently awaiting DBT and I want to buy a book that will help, does anyone have any good suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted April 22, 2015 Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 Welcome to the forum Emma and I think buying a good is a great idea, sorry I don't have any suggestions. Good luck with the DBT, that helps a lot of people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma1980 Posted April 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 Hi Data, thank you for your kind welcome. I think I will be on this forum a lot because not much makes any sense at the moment, the list of symptoms are bewildering and although it is great to have a name for what I am feeling it is sometimes overwhelming to read about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted April 22, 2015 Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 I don't have a BPD diagnosis but I have some features of it like unstable moods. I read the Borderline Personality Survival Guide at one point, I think from memory that was ok : http://www.amazon.co.uk/Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Survival-Guide/dp/1572245077. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted April 22, 2015 Report Share Posted April 22, 2015 Hi Emma. Welcome to the forum. In a way the diagnosis may give you some direction and focus to learn how to deal with your difficulties. Don't let it take over and define you though. You are a person above all and that is the most important thing.A book is a good idea. I like "I hate you don't leave me" as I identify with it. As a self help book I like http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Dialectical/dp/1608825655/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1429738868&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=borderlien+mindfulnessBut why don't you read other posts and post yourself to find out what kind of help you think you need? We can present in so many different ways and have different needs though we may have the same diagnosis. Again welcome and ask as many questions as you wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma1980 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 Hi Kara, thank you for your reply. The problem I have with the diagnosis is that I read all the stuff about it and it makes me feel like a nasty person, at least I know why my partner left me.I have a string of broken relationships behind me and I have begun to see that maybe it's for the best if I stay alone, I just seem to damage men. Thank you you both for the reading recommendations, I have a kindle so will download them today. In relation to that do you think that exercises little and often are the way ahead or would you set aside a certain time of the day to properly concentrate on them?i find the strength of my feelings massive at times. I used to think everyone felt like this and that I was just strange for not being able to cope but at least I know now that I'm not weak, just different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 A lot of the books and websites about BPD are written not to help BPD sufferers themselves but from the point of view of the significant others in their lives. For example there is a book called "Stop Walking On Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" which has upset a lot of BPD people because it is quite critical of their behaviour. What you need is to get an understanding of which BPD symptoms apply to you - its a spectrum and some have some features more than others. And you need to develop an understanding of your triggers. And how to get help. This is a great forum, you can talk to people here and they will understand. Books help too :). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 Emma I too decided not to be in a relationship until I am more sorted. I also don't want to hurt anyone but I haven't lost hope. My feelings are also intense but if you start dbt you will learn how to manage yourself better. I think that one doesn't need to set up a particular time of the day to do the exercises but if that helps you then go ahead with what works for you. Yes, you are not weak. And though you have bpd you still are valuable and deserve good things in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma1980 Posted April 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 Thank you both for your kind words, I have started reading both of those books and they seem most helpful. My DBT has been delayed so I am looking into the possibility of going for private counselling, I'm not sure how possible that is at the moment though.Data, I am glad to hear I'm not the only one who was upset by that eggshells book, I ordered it for my partner back when I was diagnosed and it made me think I was a monster! I think it made him feel that too, as he left not long after! Hay ho, it's for the best though, it gives me more time to concentrate on managing the BPD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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