bluemoon5 Posted April 30, 2015 Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes I will be there in spirit x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted April 30, 2015 Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 can i take you all with me tomorrow as well? XxOf course!! I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we'll be there Present! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 thankyou all it means alot to me, i thought of you all today and will tomorrow as well xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 I have a blood clot in my lung or there about I couldn't get the scan I couldn't lie down I was very upset and I felt so bad for wasting their time. They said I couldn't go home until they knew so I had a stress test on my heart and it responded ok to exercise so that told them it was a clot causing the stress and something in a blood test showed a high risk too, I got home with the meds which scare me and I have to take them for life to keep my blood thin, i need to go back for a scan on my heart to rule out angina. I am scared really scared i feel ill and so detached since i came home i feel not real and i know its not the meds its anxiety. I had a blood clot yrs ago and have a condition called factor live which makes my risk high. Thankyou for all your support these past few days, hugs everyone xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted May 2, 2015 Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 Oh no! What a day addy! In a way it's good that you're home but I hear you saying that you're scared. One more thing to make you feel vulnerable do you think? Please do take your medication properly. If that is what you need, maybe you can live your life without much risk. Remember that You went back to a home that was in a crisis just before you went to hospital. Maybe that is also making you feeling detached?I hope that you have a good sleep tonight addy. try to rest. Big hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 your right Kara it's just an extra thing now, I'm trying to take one day at a time. I am very tired and emotional I managed a bath and went to Asda I needed out but just wandered about I tried not to get tense or stressed. I'm so scared of meds and I know they are important my partner has ordered me an alert bracelet saying rivoraoxaban medicated not sure if its spelt right I also have to carry a warning card. The social worker rang on Thursday and said she would be in touch next week she didn't want to stress me more but I guess they are trying to help. I panicked alot last night was very anxious and then I dissociated badly no idea who or what I am today just focusing on being calm, hugs Kara xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted May 2, 2015 Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 It's good that you guys are thinking of the bracelet and so on to help you in case something happens. And also that you feel that the SW wants to help. It feels that there is some support coming your way and I hope that you can rest and take good care of you. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2015 I'm so anxious, I hate taking meds, its been a stressful day due to different things. The social worker is going to call back this week she called when i was in hospital but she said she would talk another time that i didn't need the stress right now. She asked was I still leaving my partner, I cant now can I? I am dissociating so much I cant focus I went for a drive which I usually like but it was all so far away. If I feel like this tomorrow I will have to call out of hours I could cry, its always something and I've come across a big issue in taking these meds. I know I'll struggle to keep taking them xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 is there anyway you can distinguish meds for physical aliments and mental ailments, so these are for your physical ailment......I understand how much you have on your plate, and I know how hard it is not to feel so overwhelmed. when I feel like this even a few moments of stillness I think can help. that's when I try a bit of mindfulness, just even 1 minute to shrug away the stress and anxiety I think can be something. Might not work for you but worth a try, I sit outside at night and listen to my breathing and when my mind wanders I just go back to listening to my breathing. Thinking of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 I have to keep reminding myself that my life depends on these meds also to give me a self harmed blood thinning meds I'd a tricky thing that's another thing to have to fight with. Your right bluemoon a few moments of stillness would greatly help, I'm taking my kids to a forest pk and I'm going to try to just relax a bit, I'm supposed to be helping deliver a course tomorrow but I cant even think about it now, just trying one day at a time xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon5 Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 yes one day at a time, sometimes for me these days its even one hour at a time x I Hope you got to the park. I went for a walk with my dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 yeah one hour at a time might be enough today, I'm stressed the kids are of and they seem so loud my granddaughter is here too. I tried to feel real and here but its not working, everything is so far away but j keep telling myself alot is going on right now. The psychologist txt me and ask me how I was and would I be able to attend tomorrow I said I hope too xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara. Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 I hope it goes well tomorrow addy. You're a brave woman. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I wish I was i had to get an emergency appt with my GP I feel like I'm burning up I'm so hot it starts in my chest and goes to my head, could it be anxiety? I'm so scared and anxious and feel further away than ever, everything has changed and everyone seems so far away and I am lost on my own what am I going to do? I'm scared its the tablets as I was allergic to blood thinning meds before these are different ones i really don't want to go back to hospital. I hope my GP can sort it x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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