Emotional Regulation

[Saharah Blue]

I was thinking about how people work around regulating their emotions? One thing I do a lot of, is being alone, because I don't have to work so hard with the "appropriate mask" I can tear up or be moody as I am actually experiencing it. sometimes having a drink can take the edge off. I have noticed in the last two years I have become more open and super chatty, I am really happy a lot of the time, I mean in a way I can't remember being and in a way that seems more intense or elated than people around me?

I don't feel near as afraid or anxious as I use to. Somehow getting the words out and saying it just makes the emotions not linger, or maybe I am not stewing over every micro thing. Or maybe the feelings have stayed the same and it is other symptoms that have subsided..... now I am confusing myself.

However, my point was to ask how others are managing their intense BPD emotions?

 

[Peregrine]

Haha, you've managed to confuse me as well. Hello, Sah 

It's good to hear you're up-beat and happy most of the time. Does this state of being concern you, or is it a mere observation, noticing the change within you?

Breathing helps me to regulate my emotions, when I'm in a situation that I can't get out of quickly, e.g. work. When I get overrun by emotions, I tend to grab my journal these days and just write. Sometimes just blah blah, others more deep, trying to form connections and understanding. I've found that my BPD emotions (and I'd imagine those of others, too) are caused by my mind not understanding and overreacting. Be it anger, joy, frustration, sadness, humour. Trying to gain perspectives on things is something that calms me down, although this level of being has only come after years of utter chaos, so I guess, I've found quite a good way of dealing with things for now.

[Saharah Blue]

It it the calming down part that I am asking about, we all seem to be continuously trying to calm ourselves down to a more appropriate level.

The writing part does sound soothing, journal too, or blog when that was still around. I meditate which is not quite like breathing, but similar, I have found both those things to help. Anything that allows me to be alone and not have to navigate others on top of it, feels like an absolute must for me.

The elated sah is just an observation, I really quite love it but it can be lonely since the only people that can match my zest seem to be kids, because they are so spontaneous.

 

[Pickle59]

((((((Saharablue))))))..........It sounds like one of the wonderful things that is happening is allowing yourself to be you, and if that means being with kids, then so be it...........and being able to express our emotions is much healthier isn't it, to acknowledge them than reigning them in all the time..........suppressing them.........It sounds like you are in a really good place just now...........as for calming down...........cos I have to try and do this a lot, but its great when I don't have to (lol).........I feel things deeply, passionately, and when I can express how I truly feel, without fear of criticism, either my own or someone elses, i feel so liberated..BUT, calming down, is necessary a lot of the time..............becuase I can exhaust not only myself but others too..............I find going for a long walk can really help, mindfulness in different forms, mantras or sayings, or thought for the day quotes..........trying to concentrate on one thing and applying myself to focus.............well, I find this hard, unless it is something that stirs me.............but it does help to stop my washing machine head and all the emotions that it can stir up.................meditation is good too.............a little task in the garden maybe, something that shows Ive done something (ha ha) and oh yes, sleep when all else fails..............I love seeing your photography..............just wondering...............does this help you to keep calm or do you get really emotional with it?........Just asking because my passion is music, and I know music calms some people down, but for me it is too stirring if I need to calm, so I'd rather have voices, say on the radio, really low volume, like mumbling,...........it can help to switch my brain to neutral...........depending on my mood of course.............sometimes I do this, and I get so frustrated cos I can't hear what they are saying that I turn it up again............ha ha.............then I go and have a ciggie and a cuppa on the front step and look into the distance................trying not to worry about what passers by will be thinking at this sight.......ha ha...........Pickles.xxx

[Saharah Blue]

Thanks for your add to the thread... sleep I forgot how much being so intense burns one out so quickly, perhaps that is the other reason for the pulling away from people. Maybe without the BPD I wouldn't be so introverted, because I am not shy, but I have a huge fear of anyone getting too close.

[walker]

we find going for a walk helps us a lot - if we feel manic it helps steady

us and tire us a bit, if we are raging inside the space seems to diffuse the intensity of whatever has triggered us, if we are feeling alone and distressed then the birds and fields and trees and the beautiful smell of 'being outside' can seem to cleanse some of the poisonous pain.

if we are sitting rocking (seems to happen often) then the walking balances us and stops the need

 

of course we also eat - a lot - which is a crap way of calming as it is just a vicious circle

xxxx

 

[Saharah Blue]

Walker, I don't tend to eat, but I do veer towards a cigarette or drink which isn't any better, I know what you mean.