social worker

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm concerned my social worker isn't doing her job properly and I'm wondering if I should mention it to the psychiatrist when I see her in July.

My social worker's spoken English as I mentioned in another post is non-standard and I don't always understand her which makes it difficult for me to know how to respond.

Her written English is also very poor - she makes numerous grammatical errors and the only punctuation mark she uses is the full stop. I think this would be fine on a forum or in an email from a friend but she is a professional, writing to a client. I'm not expecting semi colons but I do expect questions to end with a question mark.

The last time I saw her, she booked the room for the wrong time so she took me in another room. 10 minutes later we got thrown out because someone else had booked it. We went in another room and the same thing happened. We ended up finishing our meeting in the public waiting room. As it happened I didn't have anything too personal to say to her but it was a bit awkward.

She is usually late for our meetings - on one occasion, she was 40 minutes late. The reception staff were very helpful in trying to track her down but they couldn't find her and she wasn't answering her mobile. I wasn't too upset as it wasn't a complete surprise, I was just a bit annoyed but being left like that can be really upsetting.

In January she promised to get various things sorted in time for our meeting a fortnight later. She still hasn't done any of these things.

She says I can email her and she will get back to me within a couple of days but she doesn't usually answer and when she does it's more like a couple of weeks. She usually waits till she sees me then says "I loved your email - you're such a good writer!" and doesn't mention the content of it until I ask her. 

She promised to phone me the day after she got back from leave. It took her over a week to phone me. I actually didn't mind and knowing what she was like, I told her not to worry if she couldn't do it but she insisted she would definitely do it. I didn't really mind and wasn't surprised but I'm concerned she's making this kind of promise to vulnerable people.

She often says she'll do something and then doesn't do it. I've been asking to speak to the mh centre's lawyer and housing officer for a few months. She said she'd sort it out.

I'm trying to get her to understand the situation with my mum but she's just not getting it. She's convinced my mum is horrible because she wants me to move out. I've tried telling her there are lots of reasons why a mother might be cruel to her daughter and I know that's not the case with my mum because she's told me she doesn't want me to move out because I'd be more trouble if I move out. I've explained this to my social worker several times and she seemed to understand but by the next meeting, she's back to her original opinion and I have to explain it again. The last time it happened I didn't bother to explain it because what's the point? She just doesn't take in what I'm saying. I'd rather talk to no one than talk to someone who doesn't hear. It makes me feel so depressed and helpless and not quite real.

The problem is I do actually really like her. She's a really lovely person and she's good fun and I really enjoy our meetings. I would just really like her to do her job as well.

[bluemoon5]

 I think you should try to talk to her about her slight unreliability and try to address the other things too, as time goes on other boundaries could be broken and you will feel let down, but if you address them now it should help. sounds like you do get on with her and really enjoy your meetings so if I were you I would give her a chance to learn that some things irritate you. The poor English well as this isn't something she can change easily and does it really prevent your communications I don't know I would be more likely to tolerate this. x

[toaster]

I guess if the verbal communication is hindering your relationship then you could perhaps have a think about talking to someone else from her team about it.  Or even speak to her about it.  I often find it frustrating when I am speaking with someone when English is not their first language.  I'm not sure if your SW is foreign (as in, from a non-UK country).  Perhaps you could have a think about how you perceive things as well?  I often do not understand questions or statements given to me from someone like a CPN, even though English is their first language - this is because I am finding whatever is being discussed is difficult for me.  Even if I do not feel as though it is difficult, if I reach a point where I'm like, 'huh?!', it's usually an indication that it's me who is struggling.  This is useful to know and recognise as it means we can look at why that particular topic may be difficult.

Can I ask why it bothers you that her written English is not up to standard?  I'm a stickler for correct spelling and grammar; I'm famous for it amongst my friends  however, I recently realised that spelling and grammar are not really that important.  Wouldn't it be more useful to perhaps remember what it was that led you to requesting help from services, rather than focusing on her English abilities?  I'm great at English yet terrible with numbers - they scare the crap out of me.  No matter how much I try, I simply cannot retain numerical information (such as complicated equations etc.).  The numbers refuse to stay there!  This isn't my fault.  I can keep trying and I have ways around it...but my head has a sieve that just lets numbers through.  Perhaps your SW has a similar struggle?

I guess with the emails...she IS acknowledging that you emailed her; it sounds as though that is her way of inviting you to talk about the content.  I think most SW's etc would perhaps say that it is our responsibility to raise the issue.  By wanting her to raise the content of the email, you are asking her to take responsibility.  I only say this because I have had this experience before.  Also, it may be inappropriate of her but it sounds like she is giving you a compliment when she says you are good at writing

The room booking thing is a common thing in CMHT's and the like.  Maybe other members of staff are not being organised as well.  It isn't good that you had to have your appointment in the waiting area, however.  Time keeping is also another common problem amongst people in general lol.  We don't know what has happened prior to our appointments.  Or maybe she's just really shit at keeping to a schedule.

When you say, 'I want her to do her job as well', it came across as though you want her to do her job to your specifications (I'm not having a go at you, promise!).  I guess what I mean is that no-one is perfect and we all do things differently.  It also sounds like you're trying to change her opinion on your mum - I guess that's natural that you would feel protective towards your mother.

After all my pretentious waffling, I would suggest you raise these issues with her and look at why certain things bother you so much - we can't change others, only our response to them.  She may also be grateful to you for making her aware of some of the things you've discussed - feedback is good

 

xx