victim/survivor/thriiver

[bluemoon5]

Found this on line and though it was interesting.

Victim	Survivor	Thriver
Doesn’t deserve nice things or trying for the "good life."	Struggling for reasons & chance to heal	Gratitude for everything in life.
Low self esteem/shame/unworthy	Sees self as wounded & healing	Sees self as an overflowing miracle
Hyper vigilant	Using tools to learn to relax	Gratitude for new life
Alone	Seeking help	Oneness
Feels Selfish	Deserves to seek help	Proud of Healthy Self caring
Damaged	Naming what happened	Was wounded & now healing
Confusion & numbness	Learning to grieve, grieving past aggrieved trauma	Grieving at current losses
Overwhelmed by past	Naming & grieving what happened	Living in the present
Hopeless	Hopeful	Faith in self & life
Uses outer world to hide from self	Stays with emotional pain	Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights
Hides their story	Not afraid to tell their story to safe people.	Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing with HP
Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged	Comes out of hiding to hear others & have compassion for them & eventually self	Lives with an open heart for self & others
Often wounded by unsafe others	Learning how to protect self by share, check, share	Protects self from unsafe others
Places own needs last	Learning healthy needs (See Healing the Child Within & Gift to Myself)	Places self first realizing that is the only way to function & eventually help others
Creates one drama after another	See patterns	Creates peace
Believes suffering is the human condition	Feeling some relief, knows they need to continue in recovery	Finds joy in peace
Serious all the time	Beginning to laugh	Seeing the humour in life
Uses inappropriate humour, including teasing	Feels associated painful feelings instead	Uses healthy humour
Uncomfortable, numb or angry around toxic people	Increasing awareness of pain & dynamics	Healthy boundaries around toxic people, incl. relatives
Lives in the past	Aware of patterns	Lives in the Now
Angry at religion	Understanding the difference between religion & personal spirituality	Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding
Suspicious of therapists-- projects	Sees therapist as guide during projections	Sees reality as their projection & owns it.
Needs people & chemicals to believe they are all right	Glimpses of self-acceptance & fun without others	Feels authentic & connected, Whole
"Depression"	Movement of feelings	Aliveness

 

[DaisyChain]

I wonder if other have identified which category they fit into.

Im some way between victim and survivor, unfortunately more victim than survivor, and thriver seems like such a long way off that it is unattainable, yet Ive had my quota of therapy so there is no hope.  

 

[walker]

actually need to print this out

 

think we seem to have all 3

mostly between victim/survivor

but there seem to be glimpses of thriver

although - actually looking at the list - its only because I laugh!! - and also can on occasions be more boundaried with 'him' and family

[walker]

actually its a tough one because with bpd we can look like we are being a thriver but inside things are not so straightforward

also for us, there could be a day, an hour or whatever - when things feel that goo

but then it can crash back into total victim mode again

however

it is still very interesting

[bluemoon5]

yes agree, al 3 different times. but when in victim mode also feel ashamed of being a victim lol. As I get older I think I become more and more a victim when I used to be a survivor. age= less able to be hopeful and have to work harder at it.

[helenh]

reading through this list has helped me a lot. 6 months a go i was sitting firmly in the victim column but i have worked hard and now sit in the survivor column. Thriver also seem a long way off to me but i feel content being a survivor, its progress and if i keep moving forward then maybe one day i could be a thriver. i wouldnt be disappointed if i remained a survivor though, feels like a safe place to me x