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no one I can talk to


Lilian95

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I have been feeling very miserable, everyone around me makes me want to scream. The thing is I can't say anything as this will cause an argument and just make everything worse. It is a long time since I got to talk about me because I have felt pressured into hiding what I'm thinking and how I am feeling. My sister has said she has seen a change in me, that I am so much happier. My mum agrees. My brother seems like he wouldn't want to hear about my problems and my friend the one person I could always talk to is facing her own problems and I hear an ear full about everything she is going through and now she is so self involved there is no way I could talk to her about my problems,  it just reminds me of all the people who called me their friend, I have always been there for them and they have never been there for me. Even my therapist is of sick, I haven't seen him in over 2 months and he won't be in for another 2 weeks. Even so I just feel so alone, I have been pretty much alone for years but its starting to really get to me. One of the things that is bugging me is my mum has constructed my whole future and it steps on my plans but because I didn't put a stop to this months ago it has become a sure thing. I am once again trapped, it is my own fault but at first I didn't think she was serious that's the only reason I didn't do anything about. Then she got so excited and now I have to follow her plan. I have kind of come to terms with the fact I have never had control over my life and probably never will. Anyway I'm not gonna moan about everything because I will be here all night. I just needed my rant.

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It is really never too late to take charge of your own future, You may want to find away to say I thought about what you suggested more carefully and I think it has helped to see what I am really wanting...etc....

I am sorry it is leaving you so depressed I would be flat out livid if I thought someone was telling me what to do, lol. I hope you are feeling better today.

 

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