Hi. Please help.

[ilovelithium]

I want to keep myself as anonymous as possible.

I am "Mina".

In 2010, I was told that I am bipolar. I have been heavily medicated for this since that time. In light of recent mental health assessments it turns out I am not bipolar. I have Borderline personality Disorder. So at this very moment I'm not currently on any anti-depressants, as advised by my mental health doctor. I'm currently weening from duloxetine to go straight onto fluoxetine. This is the first time I have been off of anti depressants in 5 years. And I know hell exists now. Because its in my head.

I also suffer from a lot of health conditions.

My partner of 8 years, left me last month, due to the fact that he could no longer cope with my health issues. He gave it a damn good try, so kudos to him I suppose. 

I do not exaggerate when I say I have no friends or family to support me any more. My own family have hardly anything to do with me, not even bare minimum effort. My then partners family were the ones who supported me most. 

I have to move out of our shared flat. I'm hoping the local council can help house me, otherwise I will be living in a women's hostile soon.

I'm trying to find a reason to carry on trying at this point. Everyone keeps saying, you can do it, you'll get through it. But what will I get through to? I have no supporting friends and family. I'm a social recluse. I'm hideously overweight. No relationship prospects. Why do people wonder, why I want to die? I have nothing. I am nothing. I've been fighting these issues for more than 15 years and I'm not even 25 yet! This is not life. This is fucking hell. Its not getting better. I don't know what to do anymore.

Someone please help me.

[Kara.]

Welcome to the forum Mina. 

It sounds that you are struggling a lot and having to cope with so much all at once. 

It's very hard not having family or friends that care for you... I can see how all seems hopeless at the moment and I can't tell that all is going to be ok. I wish and hope that all is going to be ok because you are very young and there are specialized psychotherapies for bpd. There aren't for bipolar but there are for bpd. Maybe give yourself some time and then inform yourself about bpd and the different treatment options. There are many stories of recovery and in all fairness you haven't been treated for bpd but for something that you didn't have.

You do have to rebuild yourself and this will not be an easy task. But it's also not an impossible one. I'm sending hope your way.

Hugs and welcome to the forum again.