sunnyjax Posted August 5, 2015 Report Share Posted August 5, 2015 Recently diagnosed with BPD although have known it for a long time to be honest.Im 48, in the UK, married for the 4th time and have 3 children.I am retraining to be a creative therapist but trained from school as a Graphic Designer.My life has been filled with unmet expectations of myself. I always feel like I could achieve so much. With my diagnosis this makes sense and I am still struggling with the facts about that but Im okay with it today.I feel like my life has been in a cement mixer., just when I feel everything is going okay someone flicks that switch ( me) and life becomes unrecognisable. The biggest indicator of my BPD has been my fear of abandonment and my inability to get back on track when I have been upset. I do so well, then BOOM something happens ( he doesn't ring, she says this or that or someone says something nice even, you know how it is!) and then its all anxiety and agony. I thought everyone felt like I did until a few years ago when my daughter started dating and she seemed pretty cool when a guy she was seeing didn't call - I would have been a mess! - so I thought maybe Im the one who is different and so my journey began! So hi everyone, I hope I can be some help to some of you. I need help right now to untangle my self but on the whole I think I have something to give back. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted August 9, 2015 Report Share Posted August 9, 2015 Welcome, I think we have all had that aha moment, when it clicked that we are seriously humming to a detrimental tune, make yourself comfy people here really understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethH14 Posted August 11, 2015 Report Share Posted August 11, 2015 Hello am new here on the forum. Live in Germany married with children 42. Was diagnosed with BPD a few months ago. Feel very split in two. The perfect outside me who struggles to hide the chaos inside me, who doesn't know who she is???? Having therapy but just at the beginning. Most days just don't want to get up but have to because of my responsibilities children, house, animals, husband. It is hard just getting grips on how am I feeling at all and sometimes I feel NOTHINGNESS. I can understand the cement mixer thing totally. I usually use the whirlwind description but it's all to do with turning . Got to dash.Elizabeth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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