New Here, Believe myself to be bpd sufferer

[claire1981]

hello everyone I am a 34 Single mum of 2, my eldest lives with her dad though and I now have a new partner who lives with me and my younger daughter.

my issues have recently started to completley erupt and are affecting my relationship with my partner in a big way, If i dont learn ways to cope then im going to end up loosing him and probably alot more besides.

I work fulltime as a care and support worker, I really enjoy my job and the satisfaction it brings, its like an instant reward for the work I am doing

However i struggle day to day with lots of things, my moods can change instantly, I am very tense and angry alot of the time and im constantly venting my anger and frustration at my children and my partner. The irrational thoughts and feelings then start and it makes me feel so low, lonely and like the whole world is out to get me or hurt me.

 

Sorry to rant not really sure what to say.. except I would like some help , but I dont even know how to help myself or where to start but I fear if i dont start soon then it will be too late and ill loose my partner and possibly ruin my chances of future relationships too.

Claire

[ElizabethH14]

Hello Clair,

 

I am also quite new here in the forum. I was diagnosed with Borderline in June this year. So I am absolutely no expert. But I hear what you are saying and I think you have already taken one of the most difficult steps forward. In that you have acknowledged something is not right and you are searching for help. A great deal of people with psychological problems don't ever get to this stage and without this no one can help. So I a big hug and well done!!!!

You don't need to worry about ranting and raving on here just do it. People will listen and understand.

Off course first of all have you and can you see a GP?  It is important to seek medical help from you local doctor. There are MANY reasons for your symptoms, and other reasons must be looked into. It sound like you are under a great deal of stress. I sympathize with your situation and I hope that you can find some support nearby.

Keep in touch and take care

Elizabeth

[Mirlyn]

I'm also undiagnosed and I'm thinking that may be a blessing now that I've had time to mull it over. It gives me a chance to research and learn on my own through reading without having the label attached in my medical records. I struggle with pretty much everything you do. When I'm not in a relationship I'm lonely but I'm not obsessing or driving myself crazy with what ifs, then I get in a relationship and it's wonderful for a month or so then the fears start. By 6 months I've lost all trust in my guy and feel like I'm in a tail spin every other night. 

 

It's worse for me at night, how about you? I'm currently reading "The Buddha and the Borderline." Aside from the cutting (I choose alcohol aND shopping as my destructive habits ) that she does,  I completely relate to the author and her journey. I'm midway thru it and hope it teaches me some things.  I have 2 other books waiting to be read after that. I have therapy starting in a few weeks for "dysthymia with mood swings" and I'm going to ask about any possible DBT therapists or programs in the area at that time. Just because I'm not diagnosed doesn't mean I can't learn on my own. 

 

Goodluck! Message me any time.