Our son is not reading... is it my fault?

[Data]

My son is starting secondary school shortly.  He hardly ever reads and screams when you try and make him.  

 

My wife says she is worried about forcing him to read as she says that the fuss in the household will set off my mental health problems.  I often have terrible moods.

 

So now is it my fault that he doesn't read?  I feel guilty and mixed-up.  I can't have my problems used as an excuse for not helping my son :(.

 

[walker]

its a lame excuse

fact is the avoidance of his screaming - nothing to do with your mh

what about things he is interested in?

encourage him to read as much as possible about the things he likes - tv programmes - films - places - cars - whatever

the more he feels people want him to read certain things - the less likely he is to want to - especially as he is autistic

why oh why oh why wont your wife allow her son to have some QUALIFIED - solid - help with his autism

its not going to go away just because she doesn't want him to be!

[Jelly-bean]

hi I found the more I tried with my eldest the more it put him off, and im not qualified in teaching, has your son got any structure? knowing what he is doing for the day and having a time set out for him to learn even if it is just ten mins of the day is a good way but once you start you need to keep these things up, my autistic grandson has a hand held pad it has lots of games on it and he learns a lot of reading from that as well,

and of course their is the reward chart where you give him a few words to learn a day, as in read them spell them or maybe even put them in a sentence all good for him ... the blame game is easy to slip into and does not help either you or your son, or anyone, getting him help for the next stage in his life will help him though...

 

[Data]

its a lame excuse

fact is the avoidance of his screaming - nothing to do with your mh

what about things he is interested in?

encourage him to read as much as possible about the things he likes - tv programmes - films - places - cars - whatever

the more he feels people want him to read certain things - the less likely he is to want to - especially as he is autistic

why oh why oh why wont your wife allow her son to have some QUALIFIED - solid - help with his autism

its not going to go away just because she doesn't want him to be!

We have tried that avenue, reading about trains etc, but its difficult.  I think he has developed a fear of reading, just the mention of it triggers him.

Very occasionally he reads things that are well below his age. e.g. Captain Underpants, I suppose that is better than nothing.

 

 

hi I found the more I tried with my eldest the more it put him off, and im not qualified in teaching, has your son got any structure? knowing what he is doing for the day and having a time set out for him to learn even if it is just ten mins of the day is a good way but once you start you need to keep these things up, my autistic grandson has a hand held pad it has lots of games on it and he learns a lot of reading from that as well,

and of course their is the reward chart where you give him a few words to learn a day, as in read them spell them or maybe even put them in a sentence all good for him ... the blame game is easy to slip into and does not help either you or your son, or anyone, getting him help for the next stage in his life will help him though...

 

Hi Jelly.  We keep it quite unstructured since thats the way he likes it, but he spends a lot of time on the computer.  The reward chart idea is a good one and I agree that blame isn't productive.

[Jelly-bean]

I here what you are saying about him preferring unstructured days but they do need to get into a good routine as secondary school is so different, its never easy to put structure in their lives but it will be nessasary for him, its all about structure in secondary school really ... its hard work but very rewarding it will help in his future exams ...