fifilabelle Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 18, almost 9 years ago now. As the time has gone on since I've had ups and downs, and thanks to a very supportive husband they have mostly been ups. But over the past 6 months I have sunk lower than I can cope with and I find it difficult to confide in even my closest of friends - after all I'm meant to be 'ok' now. That isn't to say that they're not understanding, in that most of them suffer depression of a sort, but they often find me difficult to cope with since I seem to lack any understanding of the effect I have on the people around me. I never understand until it's too late. I moved away from my friends at the beginning of the year, my husband has to commute, I gave up my job in January for some time off before I went back to college as a mature student in September. It was meant to be an exciting new start, but I just feel empty and utterly, hopelessly isolated. Sometimes the loneliness makes me throw up violently. Before I was diagnosed, I had been in treatment for various diagnoses such as depression, manic depression, schizophrenia... since I was a young child. I've done to death my past, I'm sick of going over it for yet another doctor and yet another psychiatrist - I move around a lot, I get bored easily. So I'm wary of having to go through the same pattern all over again this time for the sake of more drugs and more useless sessions. Which is why I'm here. I want to talk, and I'm selfish enough to want people to listen, and not because they have to. Fifi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Welcome to the site, there is many people here in your position and will be willing to listen i wish you the best and hope you find the support you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Hi Fifi! Welcome to BPDWORLD! Looking forward to getting to know you! You're not selfish wanting people to listen... that's what we're here for! to support each other take care, xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerald Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 :mellow: Welcome,good to have you here.Looking forward to meeting you soon...Emerald B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Fifi, You are a welcome addition to our group. I can see in your intro that you have an interesting way of seeing yourself - we will want to hear lots more from you, because selfishly or not, we will be asking for your input. Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Welcome to the site. There are lots of insitefull people here that also want to talk and discover themselves with the help of others. why I'm here. I want to talk, and I'm selfish enough to want people to listen, and not because they have to. Sorry but what you said made me laugh. I was talking to my therapist not even an hour ago and called him my "rent a friend" he laughed out loud at that comment. But we all know it is true! Thanks for sharing so much about yourself. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 :lol: Rent a friend! That made me laugh. Thanks, Betsy. Welcome, fifilabelle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summer Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 Welcome Fifilabelle, You sure have come to the right place to talk... There are so many of us who are willing to listen and share our thoughts with you. Hang in there and hope to chat with you soon....HUGS!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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