Trace Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 I feel a little bit better today after 2 or 3 days of hell. I could see my insanity but felt powerless to do anything about it I was quoting Jesus to everyone . My therapist has been on summer break for 7 whole long bloody wks and I think I had numbed myself to my true feelings toward this break, and knowing that monday I go back to her I think I maybe was actually crumbling or feeling safe enought to crumble now. I emailed her last night to make sure it was monday 5th and not 12th even though I've got her card with teh 5th on it, I suppose I was just trying to make contact with her after not being able to for 7 long wks. I got a small reply back, but she used the words "Dear" at the start and "Love" at the end. Man I broke down and sobbed. I awoke today feeling like my old self again Safe that she is there and I will see her in 3 days . Does anyone else tend to go into insanity for short periods of time??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmi Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 im so glad your feeling a little better hun, i know the feelings your talking about, it seems as if i totally lose touch with reality. this usually lasts from a few days running into a week.it feels as though im sort of watching myself go insane and everything im doing, saying and thinking are the actions of a crazy person but yet i feel incapable of stopping it and " pulling myself together"eventually it feels as though all these thoughts and actions run their course and im left feeling completely exhausted both mentally and physically.isnt life fun!!!!!big hugs for you because your feeling better trace xxkeep strong hunkimmi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trace Posted September 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2005 ((Kimmi)) Yes thats exactly how I felt afterward. Almost like I had been posessed and left discarded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs tree Posted September 3, 2005 Report Share Posted September 3, 2005 I feel the same when my s.worker goes away. She even makes plans for me to have someone else to talk to but when I have phoned they don't know me like her so I end up feeling sorry for her having to cope with me ringing.Maybe now she's back you can talk about ways of coping next time....if your anything like me you will be thinking about next time she goes away already.Take careMrs Tree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trace Posted September 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2005 I'm taking her hostage, there aint gonna be a next time LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empathic connection Posted September 20, 2005 Report Share Posted September 20, 2005 im so glad your feeling a little better hun, i know the feelings your talking about, it seems as if i totally lose touch with reality. this usually lasts from a few days running into a week.it feels as though im sort of watching myself go insane and everything im doing, saying and thinking are the actions of a crazy person but yet i feel incapable of stopping it and " pulling myself together"eventually it feels as though all these thoughts and actions run their course and im left feeling completely exhausted both mentally and physically.isnt life fun!!!!!big hugs for you because your feeling better trace xxkeep strong hunkimmi<{POST_SNAPBACK}>I am very new to this site, I have been reading through some of the posts and when I came across this one I had reply. This is exactly how I feel when what I call my "nutty switch " gets flippedI feel as though Im having an out of body experience.Like this is not me screaming and slamming and crying, like I have no control over my actions, so so scary.Then when its all said and done, aI fell exhausted all the way around and I feel like the biggest asswhole to have ever walked the earth.Thats when the numbness comes in, no feeling just lost.I have been daignosed with Bpd since I was 17 i am 31 now , unfortuantely for me and everyone around me was convinced by a family memebr that i couldnt have Bpd back then so i went untreated up until last year.I have spent most of my time reading as much info as I can about treatments and living with this disorder. I am so glad that I found this site. I hope that my adventure here be a pleasant one.My Love to all whom KNOW the torment I carry.EC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmi Posted September 20, 2005 Report Share Posted September 20, 2005 first of all hun i want to welcome you to bpd im not very good with putting what i think into words so i am glad that my post made sense to you and that it helped in some way because when i first found this site it was as if i had found a place where all the feelings, anger and emotions that i have always felt and thought that i shouldnt and couldnt express to "normal" people because they would either tell me to "pull myself together" or run for the hills away from the crazy woman... but here i feel i can open up say things because i know that the other members either have the same or similar feelings or that they will understand and the most amazing thing is that no one judges you, no one thinks omg what is this "nutter" on about, everyone here is in the same boat hun and all we all want to do is help and try and ease the hurt that most of us are feeling.im glad u found us E.Mbig safe hugs for youkimmixx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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