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Feeling So Very Lost


christina

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When shit happens, it really happens by the bucket full. My best friend goes into hospital in October to see if she has lung cancer and yesterday my cpn told me she was leaving in two weeks time.

I feel so lost and alone - it's hard to explain it, i'm afraid of losing my friend and my cpn and i had just started working on my ocd and now she is going.

Feel like curling up in bed and never coming out again.

Finding it hard to talk very much.

Chrissy

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With another new cpn it just means going over everything again, building trust, sometimes i wish i could simply live on an island where i dont have to interact with anyone, just be on my own etc. It all seems to be getting harder and harder and too much to cope with.

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With another new cpn it just means going over everything again, building trust, sometimes i wish i could simply live on an island where i dont have to interact with anyone, just be on my own etc.  It all seems to be getting harder and harder and too much to cope with.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you go, can I go with you? We can be alone together. :)

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I imagine a really big island. Beautiful tropical flowers and birds. Waterfalls, Log cabins dotted around the island so we can all have our own space if we want. Meeting up for BBQ's on the shore with hammocks gently swaying in the cool breeze and soft warm white sands and the deep blue sea lapping around our ankles. total peace and harmony shattered by Chrissy playing Westlife, Bon Jovi and Gary Numan at full blast on the biggest CD player.

Chrissy

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In Spain last week the temps were 109 farenheight - way too hot. I can't stand the heat either.

Where would you like your island to be and what what you like to have there.

Chrissy

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ummmmmmmm, good question, i dunno really.

but no shrinks allowed

valium readily available, ditto with sleeping tablets, but they are special ones that are not addictive and dont stop working after a fucking week!!

propper bathroom facilities

not bugs or spiders or snakes

loads of nice animals like cats and horses

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Betsy, tut, tut, shame on you - River De'Nile.

I would have lots of cute cuddly animals - actually not anything small with teeth that bite like rabbits, gerbils, hamsters etc, no spiders or bugs or any kind. We would could have a happy pill stall which lets us dream and fantasize all day. Chefs would fly in via helicopter with all our meals and they would take the washing up away with them, the same with the laundry.

I would have a big open air Video Screen to watch films and soaps etc. But boy's i'm sorry i would have to ban you to the farthest part of the island to watch your sport especially cricket and football.

King size beds, Showers, toilets, baths - hot and cold water. A massuer, facials, manicures, pedicures etc.

lots of canvase and paints - watercolours, pastels, chalks etc. Chess boards and any other artistic hobbies.

Chrissy

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Hey it couldn't be any worse than it is now. You could use me for all the sex you wanted and then I can still do the dishes and the laundry etc. At least I'd be getiing something in return. As it is now I do it for free.

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