ladylazurus27 Posted August 22, 2004 Report Share Posted August 22, 2004 I feel something in me changing...i have no idea in what way, shape or form...but something is happening inside my mind and in my life. don't know if this even fits under "depression", but did not know where to put it...don't know where to put anything right now??? I find myself thinking in the past only. Thinking of old friends that always meant so much to me that i don't talk to anymore and thinking "i have to find them, i HAVE to find them...". I think of all old things and old ways i use to be and the things i loved (stilll love?) that i no longer have. I feel stuck... It's possible i'm changing and i'm afraid to just let it happen...thinking of old things because it's what's farmiliar maybe. i don't really know. I'm confused and don't know if i should let this happen, let me be stuck in my old lives and old things for a bit...Or if it's a negative thing and i should work hard to not think about these things and these people. Does this ever happen to anyone? Is it possible that the mind must take its' self backwards before it takes its' self forward? Natural and healthy...or unhealthy?? thanks for reading, kristy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 22, 2004 Report Share Posted August 22, 2004 Kristy, I don't have any neat answers for you.... sorry. I think that i tend to think too much, to analyze too throughly, to dwell on root causes. Then everything seems to be a problem. My slight fears work into HUGE boggie men.... my passing fancy becomes an unalterable obsession. Do you get my drift here? I don't know whether i am explaining it well enough for you to understand. maybe you are just reacting to some sad event or something in your current environment made you think of something from your past and in true bpd fashion that becomes all consuming. Maybe if you can just try and relax about this for a while it will go away. Maybe the fear that it is here to stay makes it take on meaning and proportions that it otherwise would not. Give yourself a break for a while and then come back to it and see how it feels at that time. I know it is easier said than done! Sometimes I turn very benign things into very malevolent and scarry things by putting the focus on them. Try and balance thoughts of the past with thoughts of everyday things... on a one to one ratio. I know its hard... crap what isnt hard about this. just my oppion and guess bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted August 22, 2004 Report Share Posted August 22, 2004 When I was trying to make sense of my depression last year, I tried for many hours to find a cause, a real cause. I came up with loads of reasons, mostly being from childhood or past events etc. So at the time I felt it was the right thing to do to tackle each and every one of them. It worked out well for me, one reason being, I got in touch with my brother who I now see each week, that I did not see for over approx 15 years. I think it may feel strange for you, but there also must be a reason this is happening to you, I think you just have to do what feels right. Hope things work out for you, keep us informed please. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 22, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2004 I understand what you are saying Betsy. Thanks, the ratio idea is a good idea! Thank you too Happy for your reply...reminded me to trust me instincts by what "feels right"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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