Jealousy

[Bryan]

I'm gonna be painfully honest here. I am jealous that more guys are coming on the sight and posting. I know that's not right. But I've always had a problem with jealousy and envy. I feel like I ought to have all of the attention and if someone new comes along that I'm being tossed aside.

Why do I have such a problem with this? It's not like I was abandoned as a child. Both my parents are still married. But I have such a jealousy problem.

No offense to the new guys, it's not your problem, it's mine.

Bryan

[Betsy]

abandonment can be more than the physical leaving. abandonment can be loss of emotional support or love.

bets

[verbena]

Have you communicated with any of them yet? It might take

some of the hurt away if you did. If you knew them as your

friends and not just as male intruders. But I can see how

you'd feel that way. I don't think it's strange or anything.

XXX

Ann

[Bryan]

Yeah, I'm trying to do that Ann. It just bothers me that it bothers me...if that makes any sense. I know it's wrong to feel that way...so why do I?

I guess I'm just trying to figure out where that comes from.

[verbena]

Hmmmm. I think it's OK to try to figure

out where it comes from, but I think it's

not helpful to think you're wrong to feel that way.

It's the way you feel. Why does it have to be

right or wrong? It's the way you feel. Figure

out how you're going to get along with it.

XXX

Ann

[chloeJ1980]

my parents are still married to but i have a major jealous streak, which turns nasty alot of the time!

Do you have brothers or sisters? I have 2 sisters.

I have a major fear of abandonment or losing attention from others

mystery!

[Lauren]

Hi Bry,

You know right now im rather jelous of people/groups here.I hate to admit it but I am.It is a cycle I repeat from time to time.

Why?.Feeling like I have 'earned' friends/understanding here. Jelous of those that seem to make friends so easily where as I dont.Not being able to figure out why that is.

I dont know.But its there.I dont like it.Its not healthy.ugghhhhh good on ya for bringing it up!

xx

[paddypotty]

Glad you said that Lauren,feel exactly the same,on the outside looking in,thinking I only have aquaintances here rather than friends,ah shit just a bad day.

Patricia

[Lauren]

Am your friend.

Least I hope.

Tues eve bests

me

xx

[paddypotty]

Still waiting on Josh to show us 9and a little dirty bits weekend,must put a reminder on notice board.

Thanks for saying that Lauren,god I feel such a twat.

Patricia

[Cactus]

i feel like have spent most of my life being the odd one out and always looking on as others seem to be able to make friends so easy.also think that people find my problems something to have good laugh bout or just think pathetic cow serves her right.just realised writing this thats

why i never get half as many replies as rest of members

[verbena]

Whenever I come on the first thing I do is look at my past posts, and see what responses came after mine. Many, many times mine is the last post in the thread!!! I'm not kidding. So, two things. I know how you guys feel, and maybe we are not seeing this rightly.

XXX

Ann

[Lauren]

Think most of us feel the same.

Re

write the 'law' book......!

[paddypotty]

Clare,you are not a pathetic cow,you are one of the nicest people here and your problems are as valid as any one elses,I look forward to your posts.

And yes Im jealous of the cameradie between you and Toon,Bryan and Lauren,always feel as if Im trying too hard.

Guess this bpd traits all over again.

Patricia

[paddypotty]

Ditto Verb and if no one has replied or not many people I feel hurt,like a child in the playground who is always picked last.

Patricia

[Cactus]

cant let you all be last to post.your all great.

cheered up bit after tripping into buggy and then burning another saucepan i put on gas with no milk in then wondered why kitchen smelt.

thank allah that the 16 year old who just given birth to triplets dont belong to us P (front page tomorrows sun paper)

[paddypotty]

Bloody hell,triplets!Would definately be in funny farm,thank God constantly crying baby acts as a great contraceptive.

Glad you have cheered up even if saucepan is now in saucepan heaven.

See you tomorrow.

Patricia

[verbena]

Night Patricia.

[Cactus]

night Patricia.perhaps if you say Grant 3 times before getting into bed you will spend night dreaming of him.

[Lauren]

Me?

They all hate me.Tolerated.

lol,think we are all fucked on this.

[Cactus]

i dont hate you or anyone else here.apart from myself, (hoping that will pass)

[undead66]

the whole jealousy thing does suck.

i compare myself to everyone. one friend of mine is doing so well right now, and i'm happy for him, but it makes me so sad. i wanted to be doing better. and i'll probably never get to his level now because i'm starting to realize that i'm probably not going to be able to hold down a stressful job...

and it's totally irrational, but it's totally real.

and then you get into the question of: does it even make sense to fight it? should you tell yourself "it doesn't matter if this person makes more money than you," when that's sort of obvious... or, do you tell yourself something else deluded to make the feeling go away ("at least I wasn't injured in a car accident like X. That person has it really bad.")

i also constantly compare myself to other people. ("That person looks better than me, but 3 years ago I would have looked better.") Or, that person is only 2 years older than me and there is no way I'll ever be able to do 1/100th as well as they did. How many people they slept with versus how many people I slept with, how many drugs I took versus how many they took... the whole thing is sick, but it's not my fault.

It just fucking sucks. Do you fight it or ride it out?

There's probably some really weird explanation. Like some emotional area of our brains isn't working, and so the result is we constantly feel like we've just been insulted... so our brain searches for a way to deal with / explain the strange sensation.

This reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons where Homer and Marge are at a research facility and Homer says, "I think your Octoparrot would beg to differ..." Um, nevermind.

[budgie]

bry

i always feel the same too...... i know it when i am not thinking/acting rationale, it is against all reasoning but i jus cant help it, or it is extremely difficult to control the "wayward" feelings. I hated such times, i feel so torn trg to reconcile it.... sometimes, i had to jus accept it bry, i m never perfect, never will be perfect, so what if u get jealous bry, at least u r so good enuf to recog it! that already says a LOT. come on, dont be so hard on yaself, i accept ya jealousy.

:)

[paddypotty]

think we all should have a corny group hug.

Thanks for bringing this up Bryan,it took a lot of courage.

Patricia

[caz]

Just wanted to add that I'M THE OUTSIDER around here. How weird anyone else should want to claim the territory. Why would you-its so lonely. It has always been this way for me.