Terminated Therapy

[verbena]

I woke up at 2:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep - just laid there with my mind spinning-you know. I think it's that my therapist keeps telling me that there is no therapy that will help me, that this is as good as it gets, that he is only stucture for me once a month. And in between? When it's like there is no sun, and when there is sun, it is burning my eyes out, and nobody talks to me and when people talk to me, it's to disappoint me, and nobody calls (the phone, I swear the phone was invented to torment me) but when they do think of me it's to think how weirde and dirty I am. I read in another forum where someone posted that they moan and make other noises. I had begun than in the last year - I will be thinking and at the end of the thought, a noise comes out-different depending on how the story in my mind ended. Anyway, I left him a message at 3:30 a.m. telling him that I would not be coming back next week - not to feel smug, because it's not because I have finally agreed with him, but because he doesn't believe I feel as badly as I do. AND that if I were a child molester (like my brother), or an alcoholic (like my father), there would be treatment and medication and books and groups - but for me? A BIG FAT NOTHING. Then you think it over and of course must leave another message telling him that I always felt like I had to stay 50 feet away from him because he was afraid he'd catch something from me, and always acting like I would get his furniture dirty. Even I don't know where that came from! Then I wanted to leave another message telling him I wanted to take it all back, but thought better of it, because maybe in another hour I will have changed my mind again. I am at work now, and from here I will go to class. I'll just concentrate on this for now.

[Betsy]

Verbena,

Maybe he isnt the therapist for you. it has been my experience that most of them dont say what he has said to you. maybe you should look for someone else that is more supportive. as to "you are as good as you can get" i thought the phillosophy was as long as we are drawing a breath we can improve.

just my oppion

bets

[verbena]

But this is my third therapist in 6 months! I wish, oh I wish there were a DBT therapist in my area! Ladylazurus27 is getting DBT, and others have mentioned it. When will it be more available? Less than an hour before I have to leave. I want to go - it's just so hard to start anything.

[flippy]

Finding a therapist that is right for you is a tricky business, i agree with betsy that this guy isnt right for you, i cant believe that he is telling you that no therapy will help and its as good as its gonna get.

keep looking and keep fighting

flippy

[Betsy]

Verbena,

are you listening with your theraputic ears when he says no therapy willl help you? is he in fact asking you to do something that will help yourself that you dont want to do? i dont know but this doesnt seem like good theraputic practice if what you are saying is acurate. so what if he is number 3 go find number 4, someone that will help and listen.

maybe a female therapist would be better for you. you cant stop therapy and you know that in your heart.

(((((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))))

bets

[verbena]

It's because I get so dependant on therapy. Like the old t, keeping him on hold in case something comes up that I know the current t won't want to deal with. He says therapy is actually bad for me, because of my reaction to the process, the room, the drive, my chair, and wanting to consume the therapist, whoever they are. I somewhat agree about possibly seeing a female, but the only one I had begun to get a good rapport with, I SWEAR TO GOD, FELL ASLEEP at our third appointment.