calyps Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Is anyone else out there in the beginning of the whole DBT process? I'm trying to hold on, and make out that there is a positive end to everything, but i'm finding it all really hard, and not just the homework (of which there is a lot). Is anyone else really bugged by the acronyms? I'm starting to think every word actally stands for something! :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
em Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 hi eirianwen, Sorry i'm not in dbt but just wanted to welcome you to the site. WELCOME tc em x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 not really in a dbt class either but i do think it gets easier as you go along. these concepts become internalized and dont seem like so much work. congrats on making a step forward! Welcome to the board! Bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Welcome!! I've been in DBT for 10 weeks now. LOL-the acromyns...i think it's suppose to just make things easier for us to remember. I entered DBT in a really bad place mentally. I started off being kind of defensive about it and feeling silly. I think it's natural to question new things in life, espically a new form of treatment. However, please stick with it and work hard because it's truly a life saver. there are also many people who would love to be in DBT but cannot afford it or it's not in their area yet, so you could feel fortunate for having the opportunity. How long have you been in DBT so far? nice to have you here..take care, kristy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Welcome, and know that I am thrilled for you! I will be so glad to hear what DBT has been like for you - whether it is helping....please keep in touch. Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Kristy I think its really rude that you would come in here and invalidate someones feelings about DBT telling them that they should be grateful to be there because others cant, afterall, the reason she is DBT in the first place is because of all those invalidations. Thats the reason that most of us are here in the first place. This is not a personal attack, more of an observation. DBT is hard for most people and it takes some getting used to. I just started my 4th group. Its OK to think of it as hard. Its OK to think that the homework is hard, cause it is. Its hard for a reason, cause it changes your life, and we are gonna change our lives then we need to change our focus and work at it. I am in a wonderful DBT group, with wonderful people and a wonderful therapist, I felt right at home from the very beginning. There are ppl there I relate to very well, sometimes a lil too well, because we have been through the same things, and its a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 WRONG!!! Kristy did not say that anyone should be grateful - she said fortunate. To feel grateful is to feel you owe someone or something for your good fortune, as though you don't deserve it. It's never a bad thing to feel fortunate. We spend so much time feeling sorry for ourselves that it would be FUCKING GREAT to feel fortunate. Kristy was trying to say something positive and REINFORCE good thoughts for DBT. PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO TWIST IT INTO SOMETHING BAD!! Eirianwen was looking for positives, and I think she got them from Kristy. Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calyps Posted August 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Whoa, man, totally didn't mean to start an argument. Feel quite bad about it now! Maybe it's karma from me not introducing myself properly, I didn't mean to be rude I just got a bit carried away by curiosity! I'm a 27 year old resident of sunny Bournemouth but originally from South Wales. My first diagnosis was depression at the age of 23. Things REALLY kicked off when my also depressed mother asked me to leave her presence and return to my university town, which I have done. Couple of months after that I signed myself into hospital in the naive hope it would 'solve' everything. I hated it, it didn't, spent the worlds most miserable christmas day re-watching 'Casper' and crying into mashed potato. I think being this pathetic made me launch the bid for world's most lame jump from the pier. I spent the night in jail - it was cold, and they took my shoes. and got sectioned for month. I left my job and went to day hospital out of my face on Modocate- I didn't last long thanks to the image of the pervy guy's face looming over moving in...they told me he was a very sick man. That made me feel a lot about myself! bummed around for a while living off the state, then pulled myself together with the help of some good friends. I was straight with my employers from the start about my mental heath problems and after the beaurocratic paper-shuffling i was let in. I've been there about 18 months now and am so lucky to have my wonderful bosses who have not just taken the time to understand me, but have read books! They say it's because I'm honest with them (but, you know, no gory details), but one of them I have bonded with so much he's become a valued friend (and the only grown-up I know). He told me when I'm well I'm a beautiful person. But I am very tiring to be with but the nice tired you feel after a good workout. I told him my compliments department was on strike and closed until further notice. They also appreciate that I very rarely lose what they term my sense of humour, even when I'm feeling miserable they usually know how to act. The most senior told me one time that he could understand my paranoia, and the words just came out of my mouth 'who told you I was paranoid?'! We had to laugh- paranoia about paranoia? Is that a diorama? I've been to 3 skills group sessions so far and bizarrely had to diagnose myself. I was asked to research into BPD and see if anything rang. People close to me read it and agreed it was definately me. I had 2 options- accept and do something about it, or deny it, carry on driving sideways and prbably end up dead because what's the point anyway? I consider myself a cynical optimist so gave skills group a try. It's hard I rarely do my homework every night because I forget, just like taking my antidepressants. Life is going pretty well, I'm in touch with my family and have a really supportive guy- I don't like to call him boyfriend because that would make me his girlfriend and I don't want to become that, because then I wont be me and so on... So to clarify some things from my original questions (which was an AGE ago, I know, I'm sorry), I never really thought about people not being able to afford DBT, thanks to good old NHS but hey, I pay tax! and National Insurance! and I even pay my council tax, but that's only cos I work for them), but I am reminded quite often that I did earn my place in the skills group, which is the start off point for treatment (basically by trying to remain of 'higher functioning'). I can still screw it all up and be kicked out, in about a year my referral for IPTUS will come to fruition and then I should start the DBT proper. At any point it could all go wrong, but the door is never closed. One woman in my group is on her 4th attempt at skills group. I've basically renamed it Borderline Bootcamp- something the skills group leader agreed with whole-heartedly! I think he just liked the image of being in combat gear (he rides a motorcycle...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 I dont feel that my post was negative. I even said that it was not a personal attack, and it wasnt meant as so, but I didnt twist words, or it was not my intention, if it was taken that way, I apologise. I didnt mean to offend anyone. DBT is the hardest thing that I have ever done, its OK not to like it, its hard work, but its worth it in the end, I promise you that. Keep on keepin on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 WABBIT-I realize you did not mean to personally attack me, however you did attack me by judging me right off the bat and calling me "rude" . You did not simply note your "observations"...your judgements hurt me wabbit. I feel like you isolated me by forgetting that I TOO have been through the inital process of getting use to DBT...shit i'm still getting use to it and it's really hard...i never said it was not hard. I just got out of skills group and Marsha Linehan came in the group before hand and gave us new DBT handouts (and new homework) that are new and that no one else has ever used before and i'm exaushed because they are long, difficult and very intense to fill out and work through. So please don't invalidate my feelings by acting like i don't know what it's like to struggle with the challenges that come along with entering and going through DBT. I validated her feelings as well Wabbit by expressing how i felt really defensive and silly about the skills group in the beginning...and I still do get defensive during group at times. I said nothing to invalidate anyone's feelings and don't appriciate you suggesting "all your invalidations..." I made a suggestion to eirianwen by stating that she "could feel grateful". Suggesting that because it sounds to me like she's finding it challenging to "hold on" and stay positive about DBT. So I was thinking that maybe she could use feeling "grateful" at times as a reason to stick with DBT, in the event that she could not find any other reason to stick with it. Because i deeply want her to stick with it and be able to feel better....i have a deep love for everyone here and want everyone to be able to live healthy and happy lives. and would never invalidate anyone's feelings or be "rude". i'm sorry you feel the way you do about what i said because i was being positive and you somehow pulled nothing but negativity out of it. Goodbye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 just realized that i misquoted myself in the post above: -i did not use the word "grateful" in my first post in this thread, rather i said "fourtunate". ....and thank you verbena for defending me with your post :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Kristy I didnt mention your struggle with DBT because I took it as a given. There was no need to mention it. Everyone that goes through DBT struggles, its the nature of the beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 i feel that you implied that i did not know what it was/is like. and i still have no idea if you understand what i was saying in the first place, or if you still think i was being "rude" and "invalidating". this has really frustrated me, i love to come here to help people and to say what i want to say and know that i will not be judged for it....i feel i've lost some trust in the safety i have felt here. i'm taking a break from comming here.... take care everyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 i didn't see anything rude about what anyone said. i didn't see any disrespect or rudeness at all. so let's all stop pissing on each other, and have a group hug, ok? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Lady, Please dont take a break from coming here. i really dont know what to say except we all need each other. there are going to be misunderstandings from time to time or even out and out disagreements..... after all we all have some form of pbd. everyones viewpoint is valuable. what triggers one person will not another. we need the balance and perspective of all people in order to help ourselves. you need us and we need you. we are stronger as a group even with the misunderstandings. just my oppion, bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragdoll Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 the acronyms you will get used to as they should go over them constantly not giving you the chance to forget them. i did a dbt course in 2000, now being 2004 you do forget some of them but when talking to others who have done the same you soon recall them. so please dont panic to much about them. just try to concentrate more on the important content of teh course. it is very important that you learn and practice the skills. i wish you all the best with the dbt and be sure to keep in touch and ask anything you like about anything in this site about anything that is going with you and others around you about dbt and anything you like. we'd be more than happy to help. take care rag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 i'm all for a group hug! :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Lady I am sorry that you lost some momentum with the group, or even with me. I am sorry if it slowed down your recovery, it was not my intention. Do what you need to do to keep you safe and on the road to recovery. My opinion of you has not changed. It was an isolated incident, and as far as I am concerned is over. What does it matter what I think or anyone else thinks of you, its just their opinion, and just like assholes, everyone has one. We cant worry about what everyone thinks of us, we would be nervous wrecks and crazy. Maybe thats my problem? ((((((((((((((((((((Lady)))))))))))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Cant we all calm it, chill, hug, dance, sing i dont mind but lets not argue. please we all have opions and ideas, no one has to agree with another though. Ive heard a lot of good and bad about dbt but untill i take it myself if ever i cant really say anything but what i do know is any therapy is a challange. smile please!!!!!!!! Any more bitchin and il be slapping some asses or butts depending on the area you are all in This is meant as light and humerous please take it that way or get a personality transplant LOL i wish!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 (((((((((((((wabbit))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))) putting this behind me now and moving on. before this i have been having problems with people in my life not understanding me and feeling disapointed in people...so this just kinda pushed my buttons at the time. I appologize to eirianwen for this, it has nothing to do with you and I know we are all glad to have you here. ~kristy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 eirianwen, Wow, wasn't that fun??? You heard from lots of us, and learned a bit about some of us, and I wondered how long it would be before Josh stepped in - he doesn't always, but sometimes he can't help but put in his two cents worth. As for the slapping asses or butts, that didn't have anything to do with the argument, he just likes to slap asses. VERY FUN AFTERNOON!!! WELCOME TO BPDWORLD!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Esspecially yours !!!!!!!!!!!!! so zip it zippy!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Ooof! Wish Fridays wouldn't come - I'll try to check in with you all over the weekend. GOD BLESS EVERYONE AT BPDWORLD..... (Even Josh, even though he's a perv - we love him madly) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 I think Josh would have too much fun slapping anything, prevert! and NO that isnt a typo! Gotta love 'im Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabbit Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Eirianwen what does your name mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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